Batman Can’t Stop Thinking About Sex

Batman Can’t Stop Thinking About Sex

Where’s the trigger?! I broke you… how have you come back? You think you’re the only one who could learn the strength to escape? I did not escape The child of Ra’s al Ghul made the climb But he is not the child of Ra’s al Ghul… I am. What? Miranda… Talia… al Ghul Here to finish my father’s work But… we totally had sex. Yes I-I know No, like… hardcore Three times It was all a cruel ploy to gain your confidence That was a cruel ploy? Sign me up for another It was great When the mission is at hand, no act is off limits Oh, I agree Nothing was off limits It was like an “all-you-can-fuck” buffet Okay Bruce, that’s enough Okay, let’s get back on track You must be wondering how we came to this moment, Mr. Wayne Lemme see if I recollect… some stuff happened… you sucked my dick… My father- like a lot My father never accepted Bane How was that, by the way? Are you done? I hadn’t showered that day and I fight crime in a rubber suit Really seals in the flavor Ugh, dude, Jesus My father only saw a monster who could not be tamed You tamed my monster– Okay, just shut up! Okay? …with your mouth– STOP! …and two other places– O-okay -in an order that would surprise you Enough! (ass, mouth, vag) Alright, that’s it! That’s my lover I’m speaking to; I am her protector That’s ironic ’cause we didn’t use any protection and I offered! You motherfuc- No, no, no Bane, it’s fine These words will be his last Her last words were: “Spit in my mouth!” Okay, do you understand what’s happening right now? A bomb is about to blow up Gotham and I’ve stabbed you! I stabbed you first. Okay. …with my dick. I-I got it Just to clarify, guy who breathes through a crab It’s not the first time one of us has shoved nine hard inches up into somebody’s ribs It wasn’t nine inches Except what I did to her she looooved it Enough! Soon you will feel the fire of 12 million souls you failed! So what you are saying is by touching that red spot in just the right way there’s an explosion? Exactly. We get it You know I’m good at it I’ll do the alphabet A is for Alfred, B is for bats It’s a clitoris, I get it, I get it You don’t have to show me (I’ve found it!) I get it I’m the world’s greatest detective! Give it- Yes, how does it feel to have something hard penetrate your body? No? Nothing? I mean I can think of like ten off of that I’m sorry All sex jokes aside, I am losing quite a bit of blood You’re an idiot Alright, fuck this, I am just gonna blow up Gotham now Goodbye, my love Wait, are you crying right now? Jesus… his face is all wet Like mine was at the beginning- Andddd he’s back -and yours was at the end Press the button! You gave Gordon a way to block my signal No matter, you bought yourself 11 minutes What you should buy yourself… is another pair of panties I totally hid these from you when you were in the John So gross. That’s a lot of memories You want a little? Which ones of these tubes you smell out of? Uh-ugh Now, you have my permission to cry

Comments (100)

  1. 2:52 A is for Alfred ๐Ÿ˜‚

  2. "Really seals in the flavor" ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    I'm dead

  3. In an order that would surprise you ๐Ÿ˜‚

  4. nobody:
    badman: WitH mY diCk

  5. Ass, mouth, vag.

  6. I stabbed u first ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  7. "I stabbed you first" that's a line

  8. You want a little ? ๐Ÿ˜‚

  9. I stabbed you first ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  10. "ass mouth vag" lmao.

  11. You take my monster with your mouth and other 2 places … Lol

  12. "In an order that would surprise you" – hahaha

  13. 2019 I actually understand this now.

  14. Now you have my permission to cry ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  15. Now, you have my permission to cry

  16. ASS, MOUTH, VAG,…College Humor's greatest contribution to Comedy.

  17. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  18. I stabbed you first.

  19. It's mind blowing the level of creativity some people have, I keep coming back to this video, burst into tears every time

  20. Why he said you sucked my dick like that ๐Ÿ˜‚

  21. you motherfucker ๐Ÿ˜‚

  22. 2019…n still funny.

  23. U tamed my monster with ur mouth

  24. That was a cruel ploy……sign me up for another.

  25. Who else didnโ€™t know this was Pete Holmes

  26. 0:29 Did anyone hear that squeaky toy noise when he fell down? Headphones required.

  27. I've seen this about a thousand times. One of the funniest thing I've seen.


  29. I found it.. I'm the world's greatest detective!!
    I'm dead lol

  30. "guy who breathes through a crab"

    Underrated quip right there

  31. โ€œA is for Alfredโ€

  32. Just Brutal Cumbacks!

  33. Now! You have my permission to cry ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  34. Really seals in the flavor!

  35. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  36. โ€œIt really seals in the flavorโ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ

  37. This is still funny.

  38. She lost her accent halfway through.

  39. Still funny in 2019

  40. Damn it I downloaded the wrong damn movie again

  41. you tamed my monster ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  42. Whoโ€™s here in 2019

  43. I stabbed you first

  44. Why this god damn joke is on my suggestion videos so late =)))

  45. "Her last words were, 'spit in my mouth'" i fucking spat my drink out

  46. "I stabbed you first" xD

  47. "You tamed my monster."

  48. "You want a little? Which one of these tubes you smell out of? Now you have my permission to cry." lmao

  49. Okay… this is really hardcore with soft core YouTube video disguise…

  50. 1:27 had me in tears. Bane's reaction was priceless.

  51. You have my permission to cry๐Ÿ˜‚

  52. Best of the best!

  53. The best Batman ever

  54. I've seen this a million times and it never gets less funny. But I just noticed. At 1.52 when he says "Assmouthvag" is the actress acting annoyed or genuinely trying not to laugh?

  55. This is the best one ๐Ÿ™‚

  56. In an order that would surprise you. ๐Ÿ˜‚

  57. It was definitely Trump in batman suit

  58. .. What you should buy yourself is another pair of panties. I totally hid these from you while you were in the John…

  59. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  60. Alright all sex jokes aside Iโ€™m losing quite a bit of blood

    Iโ€™m fucking dead

  61. The crab line got me before and got mw again

  62. "YOU TAMED MY MONSTER"!!!!!! Epic

  63. Credit for the one doing the voice of Bane–almost dead-on!

  64. Bat: Which ones of these tubes you smell out of?

    Now, you have my permission to cry . ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  65. I stabbed you first……… With my dick

  66. You tamed my monster! Classic!

  67. I fight in a rubber suit….REALLY SEALS IN THE FLAVOR!!!!……I canโ€™t stop laughing!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚ ……..this is great! Please do a full movie!

  68. OH MY GOD IM CRYING ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  69. I never actually used to like this but I feel like CollegeHumor should do MORE of these.

  70. 0:49 Oh, yeah, so you gave him his confidence just tear him down again. Yeah, that really sums it up.

  71. 1:56 Well, you WERE.

  72. I stabbed you first. With my dick.

  73. What's The Difference Between Batman & A Robber?
    Batman can go into a store without robin!!


  74. This could have saved the DC universe

  75. What I have seen cannot be unseen๐Ÿคฃ

  76. i stabbed you first

  77. That stupid ass smile he has on the entire time makes this all the more golden

  78. 'Guy who breathes through a crab..'๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. This deserves a full movie

  79. im fucking crying bro
    this guy is a damn legend

  80. If Quagmire was Batman๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  81. Some stuff happened…you sucked my dick…

    My father…

    …like ALOT

  82. I love bane's reaction to the no protection line " You mothafuc-" xD

  83. he remindes me of one of my friends…

  84. oh this is beutiful

  85. "A is for Alfred..B is for bats" hahaha still cracks me up years later!!

  86. "2.29" it wasnt 9 inches ๐Ÿ™„

  87. That was a cruel ploy? Sign me up for another!

  88. Just to clarify guy who breaths threw a crab ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  89. That always funny

  90. โ€œOk Bruce …thatโ€™s enough โ€œlol

  91. If college humor still had comedy skits like this I'd watch it till the cows come home

  92. how is this funny?

  93. Bruh this came out 7 years ago

  94. โ€œYou mother f*ckerโ€

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