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I HAVE A TAPEWORM!

I HAVE A TAPEWORM!


(card packs thudding) – I have a tapeworm (laughing). I didn’t know how else to
tell ya, I just figured, that I’d just come out with it, okay. There’s a tapeworm. I meant to knock something
off there dramatically, I didn’t do it. Do I really have a
tapeworm, yeah I think I do. I don’t know, uh, yeah I do. And he’s big. Hey y’all, post editing Brandon here. I stood here for a bit,
I didn’t pause the video, I just didn’t move, but
I’ll perk up here in a bit. Oh there I go. (laughing) Did y’all hear that too, it was me. Tapeworm. Mm, I’m super sick and the
only reason that I’m sick is ’cause I have a tapeworm. We all know that, get past it. Turns out when you get a
tapeworm, you get a deeper voice, that’s why I haven’t kicked him out yet. I don’t know if I have a tapeworm. I wrote a poem for him,
it’s called “Dear Tapeworm”. Leave. (book slamming) (laughing)
(fingers snapping) I have no factual proof,
but I will look up the symptoms of a tapeworm
for you real quick, hold on. You just keep talking in that
deep, deep voice of yours. Sim, erm, sim, is there a P in symptoms? I been pronouncing it
wrong this whole time. Sim pa tums, uh, a tapeworm. A constant feeling of hunger. Loss of appetite. It goes against the first one. Constant abdominal swelling. Signs of vitamin deficiencies. Diarrhea that comes in waves (laughing). I don’t have any of those. I’ve already decided I have a tapeworm, those don’t, shut up. When is WebMD ever right anyway, huh. I am going to redecorate this entire room, by taking everything out of it, and putting none of it back into it. The tapeworm told me to do it. Where are tapeworms? They’re in the stom,
they’re up here, right? So I have to remove all of everything, so I’m gonna go ahead and do that now. You see all this stuff,
with the power of editing, (fingers snapping) It’s gonna take me like three weeks. I’m tired. (gasping) That’s one of the
side effects for a tapeworm. I have a tapeworm, I just. It’s like a bookworm except he don’t read. My tapeworm keeps telling me
that my house is cluttered. I don’t really know
what this video’s about, other than me sweating randomly, and the tapeworm, of course. (groaning) I don’t feel good, you,
oh I told you that. Y’all don’t listen. I have to clean, what am I doin’? Y’all don’t have to stay, I’m just gonna be
cleaning for a bit, okay. Hey, me again, Brandon. I’m about to find a dollar, spoiler alert. Hey, I found a dollar. Oh that’s scratchin’ the wood, okay. Hm, uh, stop, I’m sick. Transferring things from
one shelf to another is not gonna help my situation. Here come the sweats. I’m a put a table over here. This video’s not gonna be funny. This is not a funny video, tapeworm. I’m a put a table over here. I’m a paint the walls white. I’m a put my guitar stuff behind me. How did I get my tapeworm? Oh, that’s, I was eatin’
tapeworm eggs, got it. Or poop water, what have I been doing? Got it, steer clear. I also wrote a poem for
the leaf blowers out there. It’s called “For the
Leaf Blowers Out There”. Leaf. I may have a tapeworm, but I still got it. (slurping) Honestly at this point I
think I’m just complete, Brandon by the way, completely baffled, but there’s just still,
still leaf blowers outside, in army, hold on I’m
about to say something. There’s no more leaves. Y’all wanna see me do a cartwheel? I’m pretty weak. I’m just tired and weak, and sweaty. (sighing) Y’all I’m just sitting
here sick, with a tapeworm, eating my cheese and crackers, and I saw a video about how
our rainforest is burning down. (laughing) It’s not funny. I didn’t hear nothing about it. You can see the fire from space? You can see the fire from space. They’re saying it’s not a big deal. You know what you can’t see from space? Everything else the news is talking about. (laughing) What?
(crunching) How do I help? You know what is in the
news right now (laughing)? Jeff Bezos’ party with Katy Perry, at a concert for thousands
of Amazon employees. It’s the wrong Amazon. Uh, the easiest way to
give your morning a glow up is to change how your alarm sounds. Mm, or the rainforest is
burning down (laughing). Florida panthers and
bobcats are walkin’ weird. Lemme see this video of
these panthers walking weird. Hey if something’s going
on with the bobcats, you help them, but can you
see the bobcats from space? The things that get chosen
for the news baffle me. I don’t like reading the news here, I don’t like reading the news anywhere. There’s a little Dr. Seuss for ya. Oh here we go, at the bottom of the page, Amazon rainforest is
burning at a record rate. Now’s not the time for an ad, Metamucil. I need to know what’s
going on in the forests. An estimated 20% of the earth’s oxygen is produced in the region alone. (sighing) Why is that not higher in the news? (fingers snapping) Tapeworm’s gone (laughing). I don’t even remember
what I was talking about in the other video, (laughing) something about tapeworms and
forest fires, I don’t know. Cheers. The point of a cheers is
you get your own glass, you don’t cheers and then drink
out of someone else’s glass, that’s gross (coughing). I’m fine, I just want y’all
to be a part of my life, okay? Is that too much to ask? Dad? Shout out to my dad, love you dad. You’re a grandfather now. Pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat. (funky guitar music) (gentle guitar music) ♪ Cat ♪ (laughing) Did y’all see my mouth movin’? I do that. (gentle guitar music) Move your head (laughing). (laughing) She don’t like that song. Love y’all, don’t be
sick, don’t be a stranger. Mm, cat.

Comments (100)

  1. "The tapeworm told me to do it." 😂😂😂😂

  2. I’m so confused

  3. When I was a very small child into my older small child years, my grandmother used to constantly tell my mother that I had a tapeworm. I would constantly eat I would never gain weight and I was always hungry. This is why my grandmother believed I had a tapeworm. My grandmother said it's so much that when I was in my thirties I went to a doctor and ask him if I had a tapeworm. The doctor wanted to know why I wanted to know if I had a tapeworm. So I told him that my grandma always said I had one as a little kid. Now I'm just wondering if I do have one. And the horrible part was its doctor asked me a whole bunch of questions and then said that I might have one so he was going to give me a test to find out. Turns out I did not have a tapeworm. Then I found out that tapeworms can grow like 8 to 10 ft inside your body. Sometimes they crawl out your rectum. I was really really really happy that it did not have a tapeworm. I'm still really really really really happy that I do not have a tapeworm. You're not alone Brandon. We sometimes think we have tapeworms.🙄😪💜

  4. These random videos are always my favorite 😂

  5. Why don't you play the guitar more!?

  6. NOOOOOOO BRADON. THEN YOU CHEW GUM

  7. SymPtommmms…. lol

  8. Legit my phone just fell over as he cheers-ed the camera🤣

  9. "You just keep talkin in that deep deep voice of yours." Love it!!

  10. WebMD is never right.. So now I'm going to rearrange my room because the tapeworm told me too.

  11. You drunk bro lol

  12. "I have a tapeworm"…oh golly…

  13. "Those don't…shut up." Hahahaha

  14. "Stop…I'm sick." Me when I'm sleepy.

  15. Watching you and uncontrollably sneezing.

    I have a tapeworm.

  16. Love post editing Brandon lol

  17. Thank you for using your platform to spread awareness 🌲 about the Amazon forest!

  18. Casually just August Rushes that guitar.

  19. I’m trying to figure out why he has a Christmas tree and lights up in August lol

  20. You are awesome ❣️❣️❣️❣️ on that guitar! Please play more in your boss. You are awesome ❣️❣️ ❣️❣️ anyway, guitar or not
    !!!

  21. 4:37 think that's why you have a tapeworm

  22. He still have his Christmas tree lol

  23. This made me laugh. My 10 year old, Olivia, and myself are both not well. I'm thinking food poisoning. Looks like I'll be binge watching yours, Gloria's and Cam's channels. Big love from OKC!

  24. i feel like Ellen gonna get him on the show one day!

  25. You need to play guitar in more vids! You're really freaking good! Love ya!

  26. Dont worry, tapeworms only eat tape!

  27. You playing Rylynn was absolutely beautiful and I need you to do a full video of playing that song. Like now. K, Thanks.

  28. Anyone else notice there was nothing on the screen most of the time😂😂

  29. You know what else you can’t see from space? Your tapeworm 😂

  30. Love the poems.

    Funny content and on point about Amazon. Love your videos!

  31. Wow! Nice guitar skills!!

  32. Brandon must have Tapeworm. If you say you have something a million times, you might as well have it

  33. I didn't know you played the guitar so well. I am in awe of your skill 👌

  34. Okay, but can you teach me to play the guitar like that bc MY GOD, THE SKILLS.

  35. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  36. Man, no he may tell his daughter "don't let the tapeworms bite" when laying her down for bed; but no one told him that in return.

  37. It was the cat poop coffee…

  38. That was a really good poem you should publish it

  39. Who noticed when he was talking about the amazon and space nothing was on his screen in the mirror 😂

  40. Hey hey Brandon please sustain Amazon by donating on Amazon Watch

  41. More Guitar Videos Please 😀

  42. Almost a million 😁🤗

  43. Is one of the side effects of tapeworms having awesome guitar skills?

  44. Your actually THE best at guitar

  45. Brandon, im a new sub, i didnt know you were so talented on guitar, i mean wow! more please … pretty please oh and meow to your kitty xx

  46. Love watching you play the guitar!!!! Sorry about your tapeworm!!!!🤣😂🤣😂🤣

  47. play your guitar for us more <3

  48. Im so confused, first I HAVE A TAPEWORM to playing the GUITAR????

  49. You're so good at playing the guitar, it's awesome!

  50. Dude I can't believe you know "Drifting " by Andy McKee…. You got to do a cover. Do you know "Ain't Nobody (Chaka Khan) cover by Jon Gomm.

  51. More. Guitar. 😉 x

  52. Dang he can play guitar

  53. Sorry but you sound really drunk r u ok??? Worried about you

  54. I love how Brandon act liked he was reading on his computer but he was really not because we can see him in the mirror 😂😂

  55. you have such good hair!!!

  56. omg what ever you were playing at the end there on the guitar, please post more!

  57. Now everyone needs to send him tapeworm related bs to hus po box, so he can say he has tapeworm and can prove it 😆😆😆😆

  58. Brandon!!! Love your channel!!! And your guitar playing is amazing! Is there anywhere we can buy your tracks? I looked on iTunes after watching your 'paranormal state' video (which did sound very dream theater-esque; DT is also my favorite band)… but there was only one track. I and a lot of us here would love to hear more of your music! Keep up the good work!

  59. Hey Brandon got to feed the baby's and a huge hello from Little Rock Arkansas .

  60. Idk why I read this title as: I ate a tapeworm

  61. For the leaf blowers
    : Leaf…
    😅😅😆😆😆

  62. I have the exact same guitar but less talent

  63. Your kitten is the cutest 💖💖💖💖💖

  64. You could have gotten tapework from your cat

  65. You know, I heard that if you wave a snickers candy bar near your ass hole it will pop its head out and then you can pull it out.

  66. a guitar video? yes please.

  67. What song is the second song he was playing

  68. Legit my biggest fear EVER. I'd have to take a quick exit on life if I had a huge parasite.

  69. What’s a tape worm

  70. Play your guitar in more videos, please? 😍 it's amazing!

  71. “I also wrote a poem for the leaf blowers out there. It’s called For The Leaf Blowers Out There. Leaf”

  72. Comments are at 888 oh nvm I made it 889

  73. Are you doing better?
    I'm worried about the Amazon fires too.
    Do you check your Facebook messages? I love that you added Guitar at the end of this video.
    Please help the Chico Peace & Justice Center
    https://m.facebook.com/chicopeace/about/?ref=page_internal&mt_nav=0

  74. I think this is now in my top 5 fave vids. I love the pauses with edits 😆💜👍🏻

  75. Omg he can really play the guitar💯😍

  76. I like turtles. They make good surfboards for snails

  77. Hey brandon I've been going through a rough time in life until i watched your videos im very happy with my life now to get back on track but enough about me ill be praying for some good vides and a healthy life i hope you read this.

  78. The poems had me dying

  79. petition for brandon to post more guitar videos

  80. Andy McKee 🙂

  81. Omg he plays the guitar sooo good but soooooo southern😂

    Edit: I could watch him play the guitar for hours and be perfectly content the whole time

  82. i love this guy. he is so random and weird and then out of NOWHERE he does something like playing the guitar beautifully

  83. Are you drunk 😂😂😂

  84. Omg you’re so good at guitar!

  85. https://youtu.be/zhESYHHbzsc

  86. How do I get a tape worm? Eat tape worm eggs and poop water what have I been doing? Got it steer clear. Lol I loved that!

  87. What do you mean by the fact that your dad is a grandfather now? Is your girlfriend pregnant?? Why are you cleaning out this room? I’m so confused! Or am I thinking into this too much?

  88. Love how you play guitar. We need a full video. That and the keyboard.

  89. Too much raw pork???

    All jokes aside! If you have 1 tapeworm you would have 100's maybe 1000's of them… they grow and mature in your bowl but migrate to the lungs to reproduce… if you are a non smoker that constantly coughs up flemish lumps you are likely to have tapeworms and the flemmy lump is you being forced to cough them up and most people just swallow it starting the process again and again. However its when they get into the blood and migrate to muscle tissue you normally find symptoms and if it gets into your brain it will eat brain and excrete toxins that will kill you if left untreated…. You think you have one i suggest you take it seriously before it kills you or you pass the young on to loved ones and kill them!

  90. Love, love, love your new stuff! Editing, YOU and changes! No more tree…music yes the 🎶!!! ❤️

  91. When you watched parts of this on his tic tok 😂

  92. The "editing Brandon" parts cracked me up! 💕

  93. I was told the news only tell us gossip because gossip sells. Nobody wants to hear what’s going on in our world because nobody wants to change to fix it😂😌

  94. Tapeworms are like bookworms, but for audiobooks.

  95. “I’ll use the power of editing”
    Snaps, nothing happens
    “This will take a week”
    Moves only a cm
    “Oh I’m tired”

  96. He's definitely high.

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