Jack: Oh welcome back gamerrrs Jack: No, I hate myself
Felix: I wanted to join I’m like no I can’t Felix: Intro completed welcome back! Felix: Wow we traveled so far!
Jack: Commence intro number five, welcome Jack: What are we doing? Felix: We are-
Jack: I climb mountain now
Felix: Oh climb mountain very epic Felix: *gasp* ALPACA. I’ll get to this one Jack: Are those wild alpacas? Felix: They’re wild epicly Jack: Oh my – *laughs* Jack: I want one we don’t have any saddles Felix: *fkkk noises* Felix: Maybe we can ask them for… what
Jack: Are you spitting like the alpacas? Felix: Bebe bebe alpaca
Jack: Two bebes! Felix: Okay, how about this we put them in a hole so we can just grab them later
Jack:..okay Felix: We’re your new papi
Jack: HEY sorry h e y Jack: Oh come on. I’m not fast enough at digging! Use your tiny hands Felix: Why, it’s too fast. He can’t be stopped.
Jack: There we go there we go. push em in Jack: Go in Felix: Oh my god, you pushed him out.
Jack: I did not, I did nooot
Felix: I think they will despawn Felix: Just so we’re clear that
Jack: No no this is gonna work perfect Jack: It’s because we care! Felix: I’ll put a lid just to make sure he’s safe Jack: Okay, and I give sacrifice Felix: To water sheep? Jack: No! To golden alpaca Jack: There you go. You stole my kelp!
Felix: My inventory’s full. It’s a mess Jack: Really? I have like five things.
Felix: Oh, can I give you some?
Jack: Yeah, please Jack: Dude I want a pet dolphin in my game!
Felix: Yeah me too! Why can you not? Bull crap (New CC person has arrived)
(SkeletorTheAlcoholic Was Here)
Jack: I-I trapped one before, (and) he died Felix: *Audible Gasp* FLOWER BIOME! Jack: Is that… special? Jack: Is that… special?
Felix: No Felix: No Felix: Never mind, it’s not… Felix: Is regular… *Sad Felix noises* Jack: So I have a flower Jack: ISLAND in my game Jack: Is that special? Jack: Is that special?
Felix: Huh Jack: Am I special?!
*excited Jack noises* Felix: Yeah, yeah you’re special Jack (in a high pitch): OOOH!!! MY GOSH!!! Felix (trying to ignore Jack): Did we immigrate to a new world? Felix: Because I feel like that’s what we did Felix: Even though it’s Felix: equally bad
Jack: *Dies while trying to speak* Jack: Pretty much Jack: We left Scandinavia, we need new accents
(CC Person: Oh dear gosh, Jack please no) Felix: Uhhhm Jack: I kill you with diamond pickaxe Jack: I kill you with diamond pickaxe
Felix (in a horrible Russian accent): Oopsies, we went to Ree-uh-sha (Russia) Felix: *Snickers* Felix: It is vury (very) eyypic (epic) Jack (while laughing): Reee-uh-sha Felix: no, Re-uh-sha Jack: Oh my gosh Jack: Kill skeleton Jack: Skeleton, too scary Felix: Skeleton look a lot like Felix: Skeleton look a lot like
Jack: I do not like it Felix: Everyone (in) my family Felix: Because we don’t fwed (feed) Jack: hah, pffffffft Jack: Okay, no go back Jack: This is way worse Felix: Go back dude, I don’t like this. Do you like?
Jack: No, I don’t like anything of what we’re doing. We’re not doing anything Felix: I’m trying to figure out… ooh Felix: Let’s go to spruce place. I like the spruce place.
Jack: We could have had like seven story house by now, Felix: WITCH! kill the witch! Jack: where are you seeing a witch? Felix: Oh, help me please
Jack: they’ll put a spell on you. I don’t even know where you are Felix: Please help I’m about to die.
Jack: Oh, I heard that
Felix: please help!
Jack: I’m coming! Felix: Ple-heeheease help Felix: My sword went out
Jack: All I have is a pickaxe
Felix: I have an axe. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die Jack: No. You’re not Felix: I’m gonna die
Jack: No you’re not
Felix: I have one health Jack: you’re not gonna die, the witch is dead Felix: We need to sleep. Otherwise, we won’t respawn
Jack: sleep sleep sleep
Felix: Oh my god you have arrows everywhere Jack: Oh my god I’m about to die I saved you though!
Felix: You did bro. Thanks, bro
Jack: No problem, bro.
Felix: Three hours too late, ugh cringe Jack: *in spongebob voice* 3 hours later Jack: OH! Enderman! Oh god, there’s creepers everywhere What do we doo
Felix: Um, okay wait I don’t know should we go back? What did we do?
Jack: I don’t know- keep pushing forward. Just keep going Felix: Okay let’s go to the spruce
Jack: Okay, I’m there. I have diamond pickaxe. I really don’t want to lose this Felix: We have to kill a sheep if you see them- Felix: So we can sleep we need to sleep Jack we need to sleep
Jack: I know but we need a workbench as well Felix: Oh there’s a village here! we can sleep in the village! Hurry! Follow me!
Jack: sweet! Jack: Oh god, oh god, wait-
Felix: there’s wolfies! Jack: *gasp* tiny doggos! Felix: Okay, watch out for berries. They hurt they sting. They sting like tears from your eyes Jack: Oh my god, you have special technique of jumping. I didn’t know that makes you go faster.
Felix: Oh my god, noob Jack: AHHHHHH NO I DIED! GET MY PICKAXE!
Felix: NOOOOOOOO Jack: RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR, RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR! Jack: GET MY PICKAXE AND SLEEP Felix: I gotta get my pickaxe and sleep Felix: Okay, okay, okay
Jack: Oh god wait, where the hell do I respawn? Felix:I told you brah we were supposed to sleep Jack: oh no
Felix: You died outside! Jack: oh no, I’m in the original place *funky screaming* Felix: Wait, I have to sleep. I have to sleep otherwise bad. Wait. Do we have to sleep at the same time? Three two one sleep. Felix: There’s no beds! Jack: I’m sleeping
Felix: There’s no beds!
Jack: I’m sleeping! Felix: Ooh I found diamond
Jack: Oh look, morning. Top of morning! Felix: Top of morning- okay -727 Jack: don’t- don’t do me like this
Felix: heh heh, minus 2000 Jack: I’ll make a boat Felix: Are you actually gonna walk?
Jack: No, I’m gonna sail, I’m not walking all of this Felix: God, you’re a legend Jack, I would just have teleported Jack: No cheat
Felix: no cheats. Okay. Okay. Okay. Listen, I respect I respect
Jack: I do need- I do need food though Felix: Jack, you’re not gonna believe what I just found
Felix: not one, not two Felix: Seven potatoes
Jack: *GASP* Jack: OH MY GOD! IT WAS SO WORTH IT Jack: This is why I made the sacrifice. Maybe I’ll just go to the nether and die in lava five times again
Felix: Oh my god Jack: See it’s funny because I can joke about it now
Felix: Now that it hasn’t happened Jack: I did the exact same thing in my own playthrough again.
Felix: woah there’s armor racks
Jack: I went into the nether and forgot- Felix: Sorry, tell me Jack: I went into the nether and forgot flint and steel so I had to use a Ghast to ffl- light the portal
Felix: nooOOoo Jack: And then he disrupted the lava and I died in it
Felix: Oh my god Jack: I have a problem
Felix: Jack, you keep dYING Jack: I know, I’m horrible
Felix: Okay so I bui- you’re gonna love this. I built like one, two, three, four, five, six houses! Jack: Built or stole?
Felix: uhhHHhh, does it matter? Jack: Stealing them is better Felix: Okay! Stole. I stole Jack: Oh, awesome. Oh, hello!
Felix: Hello. Do you understand?
Jack: Felix me-um? Felix: Felix me-ama Felix: Okay
Jack: Oh, so good to meet Felix: Hello, swedish, I speak like this so you understand me Jack: Water sheep, water sheep Jack: I don’t even know what half of the stuff from your series is, I don’t watch the episodes, I just keep getting secondhand knowledge from everybody Felix: It’s literally just water sheep Jack: I- that still doesn’t explain anything. You say that like it’s a normal thing in the game Felix: What do you mean? Jack: She’s a sheep, but in the water? Felix: Don’t make me talk about it, it’s too painful Jack: okay, I get it, I’m sorry.
Felix: I killed cow now. Sorry cow, hungry.
Jack: I thought you were vegan?! Felix: Oh, they are vegan cows
Jack: Oh, good Jack: Good to know
Felix: You don’t know vegan cows? Jack: Is this another thing like water sheep?
Felix: No Felix: I should never- I should never brought up water sheep, that’s why we leave him- we leave it- game behind
Jack: once you talk about water sheep. You never go back Felix: You never forget the pain
Jack: I make bed and I sleep Felix: Make a bed and sleep Jack: Ah, goodnight world! Felix: Okay, good night
Jack: Good night, sleep sleep
Felix: I sure hope green boy is thinking about me Jack: always Felix: Always, where- where is he? It’s almost like he’s speaking in my brain Felix: But why he had to die? “I’m here”
Jack: Hello cow!
Felix: Don’t speak Jack: *whispers* sorry Felix: Ok speak
Jack: hello Felix: *sniffs* I smell potato… is you?
Jack: it’s me, it’s my deodorant Jack: It’s potato deodorant, I just rub a potato under there Jack: OH! I see village! Oh my god
Jack: Oh my god. I see *both yelling* Jack: Okay, I give you gift
Felix: OH Felix: Thank yo- OH for me?
Jack: Oh my god there’s ar- iron chestplate!
Felix: Yeah for you, and follow me. Goodie bag Jack: I didn’t know you can put them on mannequins
Felix: Me neither, you can take Jack: *gasp* heart potato! Felix: Heart potato, and also look! Soft potatoes. I know you like- Jack: soFT POTATOOO?! Jack: You’re a good friend Jack: Diamond pickaxe, you keep for me?
Felix: Yeah, I don’t know how many times I got it for you Jack: It’s the gift that keeps on giving
Felix: the gift that keeps on givin’, this village is massive like look Felix: It goes all the way Felix: Even up here Jack: Jeepers! Felix: What do you want to do now? Jack: uhh, not die.
Jack: Preferably Felix: That seems fair.
Jack: So let’s just stand in a corner, OH I find emerald
Felix: Really? Jack: Yeah Jack: In this house
Felix: you can chop. chop, chop
Jack: chop, chop, chop Jack: I found sweet berries. I take in case we find fox
Felix: Ah! Felix: Good call Jack: That’s really part of our problem right now, we really need to like tame Jack: A wolf to get dogs. We need our dogs in Minecraft
Felix: I need my dogs bruh
Jack: so they can follow us Felix: I agree
Jack: build a mansion right in the middle of all their houses
Felix: Yeah on top of all of theirs Jack: yeah, wait, which is- who has the biggest house and we build a house on top of it Jack: There’s like a two-story house back here Jack: what’s going on over here? you guys havin’ a disco? Jack: Top of morning
Felix: Top of morning disco. Hello Jack: What happens when you ring the bell? Why do they all run away? Felix: It’s supposed to like- if creatures attack. You can ring it and they all go into the house Jack: Ahhh
Felix Oh my god, they- cool. They went to our house Jack: Excuse me!
Felix: Everyone in the same building Jack: Am I gonna have to commit a murder? Felix: Don’t do it, Jack. I know it’s tempting but Felix: You can forget murder Jack: He has a sweeping edge iron sword for 11 emeralds
Felix: How many emeralds do you have? Jack: four Felix: This is so sad
Jack: But he have six soft potatoes for one Felix: whoa Felix: Bro Jack: Bane of Arthropods?
Felix: it’s for- against spiders and stuff Jack: Bane of arthropods – and knock-back one for sixteen emeralds.
Felix: Yeah, I never traded with these- those type of villager Felix: Yeah, we definitely improve this place, absolutely, you’re welcome
Jack: so much. We should build it like- Felix: hey watch this Jack: Oh, me too, me too, HOP Jack: Can I bounce him out of the bed?
Felix: Yeah, yeah you can Jack: Oh my god, you can, yeah Jack: GET OUT, GET OUT! Jack: This bed is occupied
Felix: We should probably sleep actually Jack: Okay, I got this one. There’s one downstairs go
Felix: Okay go Jack: All I see is “I’m here” “MASAKA” “YAAAH” “Sugoi” Jack: Guys, get out of my house! Felix: Your house look like an old lady Jack: It kinda does
Felix: I want my- I want our house come on, let’s build ours together Felix: Don’t want to steal other people’s house Jack: Okay. Good point, good point Felix: Come on Felix: We can be the mayors of this town Jack: That’s true and then they’ll have to listen to us Jack: We ring the bell every morning. We top of morning
Felix: We top of the morning to them Jack: How about we make like a reverse tower Jack: So it’s skinny on the bottom but gigantic on the top Felix: Like my Felix: Peepee Jack: it just starts at one block
Felix: Oh Felix: Oh Felix: See now the good idea come then- then 2×2, or Felix: 3×3? Felix: It’ll have to be 3×3 Jack: I guess
Felix: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Jack: Oh, I ran out of bricks Felix: We should go- wait, maybe we should go in the mines then. There’s a mine, uh, down here Felix: and uh get some cobblestone and shit Jack: SWORE!
Felix: and shoot shoot shoot shoot. Don’t shoot Jack: I found hole. Okay, perfect. I found lava and water Felix: Ah, nice Jack: Should not get rid of that. I almost fell in… That would have been hilarious. Wouldn’t it everybody? Jack: Jack fell in a hole again Felix: Maybe the diamond pickaxe is like your Felix: Thing- like Voldemort, like your attachment to life
Jack: My- my horcrux? Felix: Your horcrux. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s it Felix: That’s why you haven’t died yet cuz every time you manage to Felix: throw your diamond pickaxe somewhere last second Jack: Yeah, last-ditch effort Jack: Okay, how am I getting down here? Jack: Not like that- HUHH Jack: Or just fall by accident. Jack: Whoa, you make excellent entrance
Felix: Entrance to cave thing Jack: WOW! Felix: Completion. Jack: Look at this! Jack: I could fit a whole bus full of children down here
Felix: That’s the plan, bus full of children go down the hall Jack: beep beep! Felix: Beep beep and then die Felix: Why’d I have to say that Jack: I didn’t even hear- I didn’t even pay attention to what you said Felix: It’s better that way Felix: Stupid grass we have to cut you Jack: Grass and flower Jack: Oops, I make hole Jack: This is so weird Felix: What is it called- tratt, what does it call like a Felix: do we build the edges as well or
Jack: Yeah, should we like start building like this? Felix: Yeah Jack: Sleep, sleep
Felix: Sleep, sleep Jack: I find bed before anybody else it’s mine it’s mine dibs Jack: They’re all like *villager noises* Felix: hRRRRRR I hate these people
Jack: where the hell do I sleep *chuckles* they suck Jack: They just sound like Squidward
Felix: I feel like they just looked at Squidward and were like “yeah, that us” Jack: yeah, pretty much Felix: You know Spongebob is in the game, right?
Jack: What? Felix: Have you done an ocean temple yet
Jack: No Felix: Then you’ll see Spongebob Jack: They don’t have any blast furnaces anywhere do they? Felix: uhhh, there’s- NO here, here, here, here, here Felix: there
Jack: Ohhhh Jack: I’ll put the iron in that instead
Felix: *singing* iron in that instead Felix: bada boo da ba my bed Felix: Good job
Jack: …Thanks Jack: Dude me and fire do not cooperate in this game Felix: Should we do it like this where we build only in the edge out and not like- Jack: Yeah, so it’s like a reverse pyramid almost
Felix: Yeah, aw dude that’s sick. Egyptians be like we fucked up Jack: Egyptians- Egyptians be like woah Jack: Oh my god that actually looks really cool Felix: Does it really? Oh cool! Felix: Yeah, Egyptians be like- Felix: And inside we’ll have a bunch of parrots and a jukebox and they will be a party Jack: Yeah! Felix: Took a little long there, do you like this idea? Jack: No I’m- I was on board man, I just didn’t fully grasp the full concept of it at first Felix: uh-huh. Uh-huh. All right. This became our new mine. I like that I built this whole entrance thing Jack: This is just for now. This is just to steal rock
Felix: I see Jack: The other one is ceremonial.
Felix: We borrow from Earth. Jack: Oh god! Both: Soft Potato! Felix: So what if we burn down village? Jack: It has to be symmetrical, it has to look good
Felix: It has to! Jack: It has to look nice
Felix: Otherwise what’s point Jack: What’s point in live? Felix: We did the accent again, Jack
Jack: Oh we did Jack: Our brains just turn off Felix: Oh, Bro!
Jack: Wow Felix: Gamers helping gamers Jack: Should we have like- should we make steps all in here then as well later Jack: So we could just walk up through the middle of it Felix: Ooh, yes, aw that’d be sick.
Jack: Now we have to decide how many layers out we want it Felix: Infinite. Felix: We never stop building on it
Jack: Okay. Felix: I want to see this from our other spawn.
Jack: I wanna be able to see it from space Felix: Chinese wall, and upside-down pyramid Jack: Excellent! oW Jack: I fell off.
Felix: I think they’re having a party by the fjord Jack: Yeah, that’s what they were doing last time! Jack: Okay, break it up you guys! Jack: Break it up go home!
Felix: -actually work Jack: Break it up! Jack: I was gonna say maybe we should take out the block at the very bottom. So it’s a floating pyramid Felix: Oh, I see Felix: Do you see me?
Jack: Yeah Jack: HoW aRe YoU hOlDiNg Up ThE pYrAmId?!
Felix: AHHHH Jack: Oh my god!
Felix: It’s on top of my head Jack! Big brain! Jack: don’t ma- HA HA it’s the house for my brain Jack: that’s awesome Jack: How you get in now? Felix: How I what?
Jack: How do you get in now? Felix: It’s how you enter Jack: Maybe I can build a water elevator underneath it
Felix: See that’s what I wanted you to do Jack: It’s three blocks at the bottom though you need two
Felix: MERRRRRRR Jack: and then it’ll be off center and I don’t like that Felix: Ohh my god Felix: Oh, we have to sleep
Jack: Sleep sleep
Felix: Sleep sleep Jack: Did you name a pig Pee-pee-poo-poo? Felix: So what huh, what are you gonna do?
Jack: I just keep seeing pictures of you with pee-pee-poo-poo written all over it Jack: I feel like I don’t even need to watch your series at this point Jack: Everyone else’s just give me all the information I need Felix: Pee-pee-poo-poo, that’s all you need to know
Jack: Okay Jack: Was he a good- was he a good pig? Felix: He was the best boy Felix: Sadly he died in the Wither fight. No, not really.
Jack: Oh no Felix: We’re all gonna die Jack: You either die a pee-pee or you die a poo-poo Felix: HRRR
Jack: Get out of there!
Felix: I’m lost Felix: Get out!
Jack: HRRR where’s the entrance? hrrr Jack: If you’re not out in ten seconds I kill Felix: *gasp* *counting in Swedish* Felix: I don’t know what’s wrong with me Jack: Scientists have been trying to figure out for a while and Felix: Scientists have been workin’ on it Jack: This getting very serious now
Felix: I don’t know what- yeah exactly. I don’t know what you’re doing, but I’m into it Jack: Building is the best part of Minecraft.
Felix: Oh, yeah. Dude this looks sICK BRO! Jack: Oh no I ran out of stone… Haha surprise! Second stack Felix: Who are you surprising? Jack: Myself. Felix: Okay, so we have one started in the middle here.
Jack: Oh, you should make four. Felix: Okay that’s cool
Jack: So it’s- for directions Jack: Everything has to be symmetrical in Minecraft
Felix: Yeah, I like it. It’s very pleasing to the eye Jack: Yeah! Jack: Okay, I need more stone Felix: Peasants! You’re all a bunch of fools Jack: Oh no it’s gotten to his head already, it’s not even finished and he’s already a dictator Felix: Poor! Felix: Bask in the glory!
Jack: There’s not even any like subtlety to it anymore, it’s just “poor! weak!” Jack: “Small brain!” Felix: So how do you get out of the pyramid?
Jack: That’s- Felix: How do you get in?
Jack: That’s something we figure out later! You build a pyramid first Felix: Hello, did they invent how to extinguish fire first before inventing fire? I don’t think so, alright?
Jack: Oh wow Jack: Just- I never thought of that you’re just blowing my mind right now
Felix: Yeah Felix: Yeah, that’s probably the demise of humanity. It’s the fact that we always invent stuff before we figure out how to put it- put it out Jack: Yeah, the safety measure comes second
Felix: Yeah Felix: Dude, they’re having a pool party! Stop! Felix: Stop, get back to work! back- back to work!
Jack: Break it up! Break it up! Build our tower! Felix: Yeah, help build our tower
Jack: Build our tower as an affront to God Felix: I feel like we have to take down one of their houses? Jack: I was literally just thinking that as well Felix: Jesus!
Jack: I was- I was like, walking over to this Jack: area being like “hmm, I wonder if he wants this house?” Felix: It would look better- it looks better without their houses Jack: Are you going to destroy the ones around the- the tower? Felix: Should we blow it up? Do we still have that TNT?
Jack: Didn’t you use it to try and kill me? Felix: uHH WHAAT
Jack: *high pitched* that never happened Felix: *also high pitched* that never happened! Felix: C’mon bro! Jack: Oh no, the golem stood in the fire. What are you doing?! Jack: Idiot! Felix: What happened?
Jack: He stood in the campfire and almost died Felix: Oh my god Jack: I know, he’s walking away like “oh, that hurt” Felix: I feel bad now
Jack: I guess I’ll leave Felix: Oh, how should we lit it? We’ve got to make sure we lit it symmetrically as well Jack: Uh, for now, I’ll just put stuff in the corners.
Felix: Oh, yeah that’s perfect. Jack: One in each corner on each level Felix: MMMM, MMM MMM MMM Felix: I like that, yeah
Jack: oh, this is so good Felix: Do you think Will Smith will be in this rewind?
Jack: I hope so. I hope he’s in the new rewind just to meme the old rewind Felix: Yeah hahaha Jack: It’s just him reacting to him going “yuhh, that’s hot”
Felix: “yuhhuh” Felix: I just realized- this is gonna sound very big brain Jack: Okay Felix: The more we build, the more we need Jack: That’s very big brain Jack: I mean, you’re not wrong
Felix: Where are you? You must Felix: have so much eh- stone Jack: I have, like, 100 by now.
Felix: Oh my god Jack: But yeah, the more we build, every layer requires Jack: However number of math of Jack: block more. Oh my god. I could just jump to this area up here now and then jump to tree break my ankles Jack: Top of morning
Felix: Jack- “I always die in this game” Jack: oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, OH YEAH! Jack: Layer complete! Jack: Oh yes, this is awesome. Just don’t jump down at the hole. Oh wait!
Felix: Don’t jump down in hole? Felix: Oh, yeah, well you’d die if you’d done that
Jack: Wait, what if we uhh Jack: And then you can smoke signals! Felix: OH! yEEES! Jack: that’s awesome! Felix: Ok gamers!
Jack: Minecraft is the best game! Felix: I got best game! Check out part, uh, four? next time?
Jack: Yeah Jack: I don’t know what part we’re on Jack: We’ve recorded so many and I don’t know what’s good Jack: but
Felix: Bye gamers Jack: Bye gamers! Remember pyramid!
Felix: Remember pyramid, think of it when you sleep Jack: The power of the pyramid