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A Video Discussing That Horny TayTay Movie Getting Patched (The Jimquisition)

A Video Discussing That Horny TayTay Movie Getting Patched (The Jimquisition)


(distorted, deep voice) I know what it is you want but I will give you need! Come to TayTay, blrlrlrlrlrlrlr! [“Born Depressed” by Drill Queen] MeerrooooOOOoooowww. MeerrooOOooOOooOOooww I’m a cat today! Cuz we’re talking about the film, Cats. And other films as well. I mean, it started about films but then went into the usual rubbish about me complaining about things in the game industry. But! To my credit, I did not make this video all about the evils of capitalism. That’s kind of like the mythology arc. Like how Mayor Wilkins isn’t the enemy in EVERY episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But throughout that season you see him do the different things with the things, like so he can be immortal and invulnerable, and then he wants to turn into a demon. Which is NOT those things! I’d have left it at… at stage nine, and not gone to ten. In terms of being fueled by short-sighted greed, there’s not a lot of difference between the movie industry and the game industry. But it does seem that the films themselves are starting to share some troubling DNA with so-called “AAA” videogames. At the very least, the film business is increasingly embracing, either deliberately or incidentally, a number of tactics that have become commonplace in videogames for years, if not decades. Most recently the Cats movies released to an unsuspecting public and was immediately made the subject of fun due to the mixture of confusion and horniness that it appeared to instill in its viewers. The adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s famous musical, which I saw on telly once and didn’t quite get, has been noted as bizarre, nightmarish, and disturbingly erotic. In fact, most reviews seem eager to point out how weirdly sexual the film is. And as we all know, there’s nothing sexy about Taylor Swift and Idris Elba as anthropomorphic singing cats, okay? Nothing sexy at all! But Cats didn’t just make headlines for being a thoroughly frightening feline fuckfest. What really turned heads was the fact that this film was altered after it had already released to theaters. The film was rushed to make its release date seemingly, with changes being made right up until the last minute, but that’s okay! Because Universal Studios has since added to it and a new version is playing at cinemas. Content has remained the same, but lighting, effects, and the timing of performances has been updated. Not enough to save the film from being a Box Office bomb, sorry about that, Tom Hooper. The jokes have already been made among fans, Cats was patched after release queue the laughter. But really, all goofs aside, this is pretty much exactly what Universal did when it added literal performance improvements to the film after it had already come out, replacing copies still playing at theaters with the new version. As close to a Day 1 Patch as a film has gotten. While mechanically the two processes are wildly different, the overall effect of updating Cats is literally the same as patching a game. And the fact this happened as a result of rushed production and seemingly endless redos, echoes what now happens routinely in the game industry. Where Day 1 patches are commonplace and often used to quickly bolt on fixes and features that didn’t quite make the deadline. Over the past decade or so, I’ve witnessed Day 1 patches going from a developer’s occasional saving throw to a near-mandatory part of the development process. With some patches finishing off a title that just wasn’t ready in time. In fact, thanks to the concept of “Live Services” and their subsequent “Roadmaps” some games are launched now without a full set of features and content, relying on direct internet connections to add shit in at a far later date. If they get around to adding it at all. What Cats has demonstrated is that movies can follow a similar process. While it’s harder for them to get away with it, since you can’t automatically patch movies on day one. Yet. And the major importance of opening weekends means they still need to be as top-notch as possible, Cats has helped open the door to the idea that movies can indeed be rushed out to market and fixed later just like certain videogame companies operate. Altering a film is, of course, not new. Extended and Director’s Cuts have offered alternate film experiences since long before videogame patches were even possible. Most famously, George Lucas has endlessly fiddled with the original Star Wars films like a painter who keeps adding to a portrait until it’s a total fucking mess. From the shameless addition of distracting CGI guff, to the alteration of a scene’s entire context, the Star Wars special editions from 1997 threw in a ton of stuff to the point where it resembles a videogame megapatch. The kind of massive overhaul that we’ve seen in such games as No Man’s Sky. Which made a dramatic alteration in terms of its content over a year after launch. Again, the methods and subsequent ease of deployment are different, but the overall effect is the same. And like Lucas, Disney seems pretty interested in fucking about with its content after release as well. In any case, the world moves quicker now than it did in 97, content is an endless stream, and it’s rare for any movie, videogame, or TV show to have the lasting traction Star Wars did. I mean, who’s talking about Game of Thrones now? Anybody? Hardly a fraction of those who cared when it aired and now don’t give a shit because Chernobyl came out right after and Watchmen after that, and who could forget The Purge TV show? Look, brutal truth is, ain’t nobody releasing a Cats special edition 20 years from now. Sorry, Tom. With entertainment moving at a rapid pace, fuck the special editions changes need to be made immediately and brutally these days. Preferably BEFORE release as we saw with Sonic the Hedgehog’s transformation from nightmare fuel to vaguely bad dream fuel, but post-release will do in a pinch. And may even get it a little more attention. Not the attention that’s a guarantee of success. Sorry, Tom. But this could lead to a potential early-access phase for movies. Allowing movie makers to rush their products out to an easily-bored world quicker than ever. Even better for Hollywood, there’s even more marketing potential for early-access films than there is with videogames. Just imagine movie studios promising exclusive rougher cuts that won’t be around forever in order to get completionists and extreme fans rushing out to see them. I can tell you already that it’s an idea with potential to succeed. I had very little interest in seeing Cats until I heard it was confusing and horny. Two of my favorite statuses! But I didn’t really care about watching it immediately UNTIL I heard it was being edited. I expected large cuts such as a removal of perplexing titillation and immediately wanted to rush out and see it. Since the changes are small, my desire has receded, but if you were to tell me on Monday that they were taking out the horniness on Wednesday, I’d be in a theater Tuesday morning. Because I’m pathetic! (distorted, deep voice speaking in reverse) I have seen every episode of So-(???) Once Upon a Deadpool, which was released to theaters shortly after the release of Deadpool 2, is an interesting example of what could be called the filmmaker equivalent of DLC. While generally being a re-release of Deadpool 2, only re-edited to make it PG13, the movie also features extra content. Specifically scenes of Deadpool reading a bedtime story to Fred Savage. The movie re-launched in a way that its R rating was removed, which allowed more people to LEGALLY come see it, and likely enticed some previous viewers who wanted to see the new content. Quids in for Deadpool 2, and perhaps it’s evidence that that Box Office importance I mentioned earlier is diminished. In a culture where you’ve gotta keep fighting to stay relevant, re-edits and re-releases keep you in the news and could give films a longer tail at the Box Office. More interesting and far closer to the spirit of DLC is a report that circulated not too long after the release of Spider-Man: Far From Home. It was suggested that Sony was interested in re-releasing Far From Home to theaters after its initial run, a tactic that allowed the Avengers: Endgame to smash Avatar’s record as the highest-grossing film of all time. How a film with such a little cultural impact as Avatar made that much fucking money in the first place is one of our species’ great mysteries. When Spider-Man: Far From Home followed Endgame’s lead and dipped into the re-release bucket with that added content, it turned the idea into a potential trend. Now, this is something we could see normalized going forward. Just like with videogames, spending money on a movie day one might not be the wisest use of your cash. The movie business is killin’ it lately thanks in no small part to the mainstream appeal of previously-geeky franchises turned Disney monoliths, Star Wars and Marvel. One thing about geeky products is their ability to create massive amounts of personal investment and loyalty in people. Just look at how many people lay down their lives for a fucking console. Fandom is a powerful phenomenon, one capable of generating obscene amounts of money as seen in the sheer volume of merchandise that these franchises can sell to people. I mean, if you can sell fans a bag of Star Wars apples, you can basically sell ’em anything. It’s little wonder we’re seeing a lot of discussion about game-like changes made to movies predominantly focused on fan culture. Re-edits of Deadpool 2, additional content added to Avengers. Hell, the mountain of changes made to Star Wars over the years probably serves as the forerunner to all this exploitation of geeky fandom and its never-ending thirst for more content, more detail, more knowledge. A thirst that legions of fans will pay top dollar to satiate. What is that one Stormtrooper’s name who was that fun one in The Force Awakens? Why that’s FN-2199! He has an entire biography because it’s Star Wars, of course he has! Every background character and incidental detail in Star Wars has a Wookieepedia page. Now, buy ALL their fucking toys! One thing videogames have learned is that they can make more money from their audience without growing it. That’s something we’ve critiqued and dissected multiple times on this show before. Rather than try to diversify their content to reach more demographics, many game companies have realized they can squeeze extra milk from the human udders that are their existing customers. DLC, microtransactions, lootboxes, they’re all about getting as many existing customers as possible to spend more of their cash. The very idea of attracting “whales”, that often single digit percentage of customers who spend the most amount of money, is about increasing the cash extracted from already-invested players in a rather risky, reckless and exploitative way. This is something the film industry is in an increasing position to do now. Re-releases with new content, re-edits, performance patches, these all have the potential to keep existing audiences coming back for more. Which is something more studios are gonna want to do if, like we’ve seen in the videogame industry, their explosive growth starts to wane and they try to keep their profits up to please those with their fingers on purse strings. Eventually, everyone who wants to see the latest Marvel movie is gonna see it, and yet more will end up fatigued by the sheer amount of them in time. But! By getting the deeply-entrenched fans to come back, to spend more on something they’ve already paid for, Hollywood can keep raking in the cash. Until it one day hits the ceiling on that too. Who knows, maybe we’ll even see the kind of content carving we often see in videogames. How many of the deleted scenes in future movies will actually be deleted or purposely held for the inevitable rerun? Hell, that’s a valid question NOW. And we already know companies are happy to withhold even important content from their films. Since Emperor Palpatine made his big fucking return to Fortnite instead of the film he was literally returning to. Yeah, Rise of the Skywalker still fucks my onions. And look, it’s not like I’m saying Rise of the Skywalker is a bad film for the hell of it, I’m saying about it because I thought about Rise of the Skywalker for more than five minutes, which is the exact opposite of what the film wants you to do. You know, Red Letter Media once made a gag video, Scientist Man’s Plan to Save Starwars, joking about the idea of making money by tricking more of it out of hardcore, zealous fans. “So my solution is to make Boba Fett,” “and potentially all future Star Wars films in theaters,” “an Exclusive Ultimate Limited Edition Fan Event Experience.” “And then, to see the film, we charge each person between $150 and $200.” (together spits drinks, yells) “WHAT?!” When I watched it at the time, I had a a little “sweet summer child” moment as I saw them joke about things the videogame industry has been doing since I started covering the videogame industry. With the sheer amount of product tie-ins, restaurant deals, merchandise, and conventions, executives across the entire entertainment industry have known for a while that there are big bucks to be had from the core demographic. They can unleash a torrent of endless garbage and we’ll happily pay for it if it looks a bit like Darth Vader. Thanks to the increasingly-constant online nature of videogame consoles and PCs, game publishers have been able to keep their garbage torrent consistent and incessant within the very products themselves. And movies are catching up. If there’s one thing I don’t think we need, it’s for movies to share more similarities with videogames, but that does seem to be where we’re headed. Again, I don’t know if we’ll see many direct, one to one comparisons in the methods of these get richer quicker schemes, but the intent and the results will be the same. Corporations extracting the maximum amount of revenue for the least amount of effort, which is pretty much what all of them are here to do. Meerrrrreeeeeeerrrrrrreeeeooooo- -oooooeeeeoooooowwwww. Merow, row. (sighs heavily) Didn’t see Cats. I was gonna do it this weekend, but I didn’t do it. Uh, didn’t go and see Cats. But I will at some point! Cuz… ..it’s confusing and horny and as I said, that had my attention. That’s it. I can’t think of anything more to say today. We’ll leave it at that. Thank God for me. Meoo- [“Stress” by Jim’s Big Ego]

Comments (100)

  1. im just gonna say it

    he's now jim purrrling

  2. Cats should be in the same world as "Island of Dr Moreau"

    Also, the female cats need more nipples.

    A female should get pregnant, give birth, and then eat a runt.

  3. The music industry is heading in this direction too. We've had remastered albums for decades, but we're getting actual patches to albums now. Kanye has been patching his albums for a few years (Life of Pablo was patched several times, and he patched his weird new gospel album a week after it came out), and Drake patched his latest album as well.

  4. Something is not a proof of concept when it was a miserable failure.

  5. The Deadpool 2 thing is actually rather neat.

  6. Thank god for..

    Checking for updates..

    Downloading files..

    Installing package..

    Jim.

  7. D'awe, I want Jim Cat. Look at him … imagine a cat like that waking you up every morning.

  8. The kingdom of heaven extended cut is the only one worth watching makes certain scenes in the theatrical cut make sense, like the killing of the preist at the begining for example.

  9. And yet to this day I would still pay to watch a patched version of Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes with a different ending so I could finally get rid of that fucked up ending from my mind. Really Washington DC but with apes Really!!

  10. – A piece of art is never finished, only abandonned.
    – But this shit ain't art.
    – …

  11. Marketing,: It's a joke. On you.

  12. The dawn of cinema DLC.

  13. WWE2K was nothing more than an Early Access title made by a AAA studio.

  14. Cat Jim is best Jim

  15. Let make this movie Japanese. They know how to create cat girls and boys

  16. Well as long as we're broaching this topic……

    Clue pioneered alternate endings in videogames!

  17. Unfortunately the invulnerability the mayor gets in season 3 can only occur as part of the transformation process. So that’s why he can’t just remain invulnerable. No explanation on how he expects to conquer the world as a semi large snake, when we have artillery and nukes

  18. SPIDER MAN RERELEASED WITH EXTRA CONTENT???!?!?!!!?!?!?!?! EXCUSE ME!!!!!1111!!!!!!!11!!!11!!!1

  19. Tch you're a siamese, Jim. Get it right!

  20. If I wanted to see a program about cats, I'd look up SWATKats: The Radical Squadron. At least that was more entertaining.

  21. Lots of us are pathetic, and half of us won't admit it. 😂😂

  22. Stop talking, I'm watching the Garfield Cartoon behind you!

  23. It's been a long time since I've been excited about movies. But as always, the consolidation of capitalism can make things even worse

  24. Jim and Redlettermedia in one vieo…awesome!

  25. 1:10 Were you saying something? I was singing Garfield and Friends

  26. I think movies doing is worse because you by a game and the day one patch is at least free,but you have to pay to watch a movie in theaters after it's "patched".

  27. I chose to see Cats over the new Star Wars movie. Why? I like the music of Cats, the 80s synth overture still gave me chills. I wanted to start the decade with something very memorable. I grimaced and grinned at the Jennyanydots and Bustopher Jones parts because I knew it must've drove snobbish critics over the deep end.

  28. I think I’ll be seeing less movies in the future…

  29. Honestly there's nothing I find more skin-crawling at the moment than those uncanny valley bits where Justin brings a still image of a person to life through the blood sacrifice of christened infants and makes the exaggerated features talk and stare directly into my withering soul.

  30. Y'know, I can understand the cats in the musical making people horny; very tight outfits and elaborate facepaint on lithe human dancers is a pretty straighforward concept after all. But the movie version is not sexy at all, since the horrid cg effects distracts from otherwise attractive people and reinforces that they're just weirdly alien-looking humanoid cats.

  31. I saw Mike, Rich, and Jay, and I clapped!

  32. Not nearly sexy enough. Worst video ever!

    7/10

  33. These are some Hollywood quality special effects.

  34. Capitalism, more like Catitalism!

  35. Seriously doubt this will have any impact on the film industry. Cats bombed regardless of the changes and unless box office numbers come in showing an uptick in ticket sales after the patch, no one will be willing to make this a trend in film. Not everything is like AAA gaming, unlike these videos. Truly these are the open world AAA games of Youtube videos.

  36. 0:23 Well, someone spiked my coffe.

  37. I was worried you were gonna make an ass out of yourself by speaking about a topic that’s way out of your area of expertise, but, Jim, you nailed it.

  38. Fuck the Watchmen TV show.

    Alan Moore has been so thoroughly fucked by the media establishment that it comes damn close to being a human rights abuse.

    Anyone who watches that show is an asshole -_-

  39. I must say
    I love Jimcat

  40. How did so many "Elite Celebrities" agree to even be in this movie?

  41. Jim used to be extremely powerful, he could turn into all sorts of animals. But now he never gets the faces right.

  42. you'll see this a lot more once movies theaters are forced to move to digital distribution. oh they will be forced.

  43. Its 2020 and movies are getting patches now lmao

  44. I'm still waiting for the Cats BattlePass

  45. throws in bag of catnip

  46. Seriously tho, why did avatar (the blue people movie) make so much money?

  47. The thing I find the most confusing is the fact they managed to fuck up such an easy job. Just make the cats cute! The job practically does itself; just make the cats look like cats.
    Though I suppose for that to happen Hollywood would need to get their collective heads out of their asses and realise live action isn't the answer to literally everything.

  48. Why is the word "horny" in the video tit

  49. James Corden a fat pussy 😂

  50. All the ticket sales for CATS was just from furries.
    And you wonder why it’s got so much sex.

  51. Avatar had great visuals but had a garbage story. How the "chosen one" had to save the Indians of a far away planet. It sounds like a JRPG story. One thing that would be awesome that I would support re-releasing a movie for would be for 2 endings to be shot and you got to like choose which one you wanted to see. For instance I still watch Die Hard and wish I could see a version/Universe where Hans got away with all that money. It was just such a badass crime and I really wanted him to get away with it, thus sticking it to those top tier fucks of corporate America. In regards to Avatar I think the humans should have painted the ground with those tall blue bufoons. I get so sick of the "support the little guy" story line. By god if i'm being entertained I require seeing the Empire win for freaking once….

  52. Stop giving them ideas, Jim. Stop it.

  53. Movies already have incentives and limited time things. Manymany years

  54. its amusing an incomplete movie can be released then patched post launch, for now at lest

  55. Here's something else that Hollywood's taken from the TRIPLE AYYYY game industry – content carving. Disney Star Wars is guilty of this. They leave deliberate plot holes in their films and then sell you novels and comix to plug those gaps.

  56. Can you just do every video as a cat now… it’s just too great!😂

  57. I can't wait for movie to start having microtransa….. wait that's what popcorn and soda is

  58. Fn2199 is fin not that guy

  59. ayy nicce to see some RLM love. great channel

  60. "Confusing?" Abso-fuckin–lutely. "Horny?" Surely you have been smoking meth, Jim.

  61. why you playing that garfield kart game? looks boring, play crash team racing nitro fueled at lease the AI attack each other on that game and it has a better dynamic and shortcuts.

  62. They slipped up on the marketing on this one. They didn't attach it to lgbtq or wokeness so they could call people racist and bigots if they didn't like it, otherwise everyone would be defending it. Whoops.

  63. It's all coming full circle. Films used to get re-releases as "director's cuts" or whatever, then video games stole that so they could re-package the same game for a big cash infusion, and now movies are doing it right back again.

  64. Really, Jim?
    Not even a "thank god for me..ow?"
    I feel robbed.

  65. I don't want to believe it nor do I want to hear it but this will happen, it is inevitable and Jim Sterling is right.

  66. I think this is that "giving them ideas" thing everyone refers to when they say "Don't give X ideas"

  67. so…
    what about the new MHW dlc breaking the game?

  68. Also the original Cats musical was my childhood as was the book of poems it's based on. So unlike you I'm not going to see it, just on principle of it being a thing from my childhood that worked perfectly fine without CGI and doesn't suddenly need CGI now. Also if I was going to see another version of it…it'd probably be like a live version or something since it was a recording of a stage musical and that's generally agreed upon to be the next step after you see a movie of a musical…go see the musical.

  69. I never understood why people said "Furries must love this movie because it has cats with human faces!" Bitch, it's still creepy as hell.

  70. You do realise the people saying it's horny are furrys right

  71. Jim, you could do with a hotfix yourself.

  72. The reviews are definitely right about the horniness of Cats 2019. Nothing more erotic than Rebel Wilson in a skintight cat suit eating CG cockroaches with human faces.

  73. I don't know what was said to accompany the twisting cat face halfway through but towards the end of it I clearly heard 'eurofannies'. That's you that is.

  74. So Hollywood wants to adopt video games best practices?
    Hollywood wants to become Fortnite… o god. S-somebody call the president! Now! Right fuckin now!

  75. when do I get the special version of this video without Garfield Kart

  76. The fact that even my furry friends are making fun of this film is telling.

  77. Where are the whiskers?

  78. 50 years from now I guess there'll be microtransactions in our movies/films

    (I could see lootboxes being part of movies in a couple years and that wouldn't be hard to implement)

  79. Thank God for Me-ow

  80. going to come back to this video 2 years from now when the movie industry is just re-releases with new content and early viewings

  81. there never was a patch
    this is all mandela effect. :')

  82. Red Letter Media are the greatest.

  83. wait….there's a Purge tv-show?!!

  84. Well, I lasted 30 seconds into this video, which I guess is better than my love life.

  85. This video is filth.

  86. why would you release a film adaptation of a dying stage performance? where they trying to cash in on the furries?

  87. Confused and horny are the worst combination of status effects in a JRPG battle.


  88. We can't bang dat

  89. Day one patches for movies now? Won’t be long until you have to buy the ending as DLC

  90. It bears mentioning that it's not an entirely bad thing when content producers favor increasing their earnings from small groups of fans rather than trying to grow their existing fan base. As I recall, Jim was also pretty peeved about how games had gotten increasingly generic in order to appeal to larger markets. I think there's value is giving developers room to produce games without having to worry about mass market appeal and one way to doing that is precisely by milking more cash out of existing fans so you don't have to create new ones.

    Indeed, if you think about it, if not for Patreon, which is one method for dramatically increasing a creator's earnings per fan, we wouldn't have such a weird and wonderful show like the Jimquisition that we can watch for free. (a corporate sponsor would certainly demand Jim keep things more PC, no?)

  91. JimCat is so cute, I want to take him home so I can pet him and listen to him trashing the game industry.

  92. Think about it,
    Movies were the big thing and video games were behind. Then video games tried to emulate movies with a "cinematic" quality (remember Jim's Ubisoft video on that shit). Now video games are the big thing and movies are behind. Movies are now emulating video games. What a paradox. Similar to what happened with DC movies and Marvel movies.

    On a side note, James Cameron's Avatar can die in dumpster fire.

  93. updating Breast physics in "Cats" demand higher ESRB / PEGI rating XD

  94. I do get the impression that the people who make films and games these days, don't actually like them. They have all the passion of hand drier moguls, or septic tank wholesalers. They're overrenumerated, utterly apathetic checkout girls.

  95. All this cat energy and not one thundercats roar reference… Narrrh :p

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