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Bebe’s Kids (SNES) – Angry Video Game Critic

Bebe’s Kids (SNES) – Angry Video Game Critic


He’s gonna take you back to the past! To blow these reviews out of his ass! He’d rather have… a crocodile… pin him down and suck on his cock! He’d rather eat… some rotten dog shit…. and drown it down with Rolling Rock! He’s the world’s biggest and greatest cynic! He’s the Angry Video Game Critic! He’s the Angry Video Game… Critic. *Impersonating AVGN* Hello. I’m the Angry Video Game Critic. I have a small penis and like to eat elephant shit for breakfast! Ha ha ha! *Normal voice* Alright, I’m not going to do that voice throughout the entire video. What I am going to do, though, is review a god awful video game based off of a god awful feature film. I’m, of course, talking about the horrors of “Bebe’s Kids”. *Bebe’s Kids (SNES Intro)* For those of you who are fortunate enough to pass this movie up, I’ll give you the premise. The film is about a guy who has to take three bratty kids to an amusement park… as they do nothing but cause trouble and panic. The film was so bad that even the trailer couldn’t make it sound good. I mean, listen to this tagline… “Bebe’s Kids! It’s animation…” *high five* And that’s about all they can say about it. They can’t say it’s a good film, a funny film, or even a film. All they can say is it’s animation. That’s pretty bad. Because someone at Universal foolishly thought this film would be a hit… they did a video game tie-in for the Super Nintendo. Now, this film was based on the stand-up comedy of Robin Harris… which he based on real life events. So, let me get this straight. I’m reviewing a game… based on a movie… based on a stand-up… based on some woman’s annoying kids? Well! If that’s not the set up for the best damn video game in the world, I don’t know what is! Let’s review this fucker! Yea… As you can tell, it’s been a while since I used this. Alright. Bebe’s Kids. Here we go. So, it starts off with you entering the theme park “Fun World”. Well… If you got to put the word “Fun” in the title, chances are it’s not going to be that enjoyable. Now you can either be a boy or a girl, and I’m going to choose the boy. So, you start off in the amusement park… and the first thing you notice is the sign behind you. “NO VIbES”
“NO bEVIS”
“NO bEVIS”
“NO VIbES” Oh boy, we’re in trouble. *sigh* Not only does this not make any sense… but you notice that all the letters are capitalized except for the letter “B?” Why the fuck is that? Wait a minute. I just realized something. In fact, it has all the same letters! “VIbES” is actually an anagram for “bEVIS”. So much so, that they don’t even capitalize the “b” when they rewrite it! And the pattern is always 1 “VIbES” and 2 “bEVIS”, …never 1 “bEVIS” and 2 VIbES.” So, if “VIbES” is an anagram for “bEVIS…” “bEVIS” is an anagram for “VIbES…” and they always come to the order 1, 2, 1, 2… that means… *suspenseful music* Absolutely NOTHING! I just wasted five minutes on this game, and I haven’t even pushed a button yet! Alright. So you’re walking through this amusement park, though it isn’t really as much walking, as it is swimming through air, and you come across these people in costumes. They don’t seem to be bothering me, so I just decide to move on. Oh! Well… The screen won’t let me leave. Ok. So I guess I have to beat these guys up. Ok. That’s kind of cool. You get to hit people in the crotch? Maybe this game won’t be so bad after all. Yea! Take that you mousy nads! Oh my God! I will never get tired of this! Oh my God… I am so tired of this! These characters take forever to kill! And they move around so much that they’re hard even to hit! Wait. His head fell off! Ok, That must mean I’m close, right? Thank God! I don’t think I could’ve taken much more of this! Oh my God!!! I can’t take much more of this! Ok, alright, I got one in the corner now. This ought to make things go faster. Come on! Die!!! Die, god damn it!!! Die!!! Oh, thank god! Now I have to get this asshole, right? God, I hope he goes down a lot faster than the other guy. Oh, sweet buttery JESUS! This is like a test in psychological torture! Just DIE! DIE! DIE!!! (x8) HA HA!!! I beat him! I actually beat him! THERE IS A GO-… A time limit? There’s a time limit? I can eat my way through a WALL, Faster than I can defeat these assholes! And there’s a TIME… LIMIT!!!??? All right. So, in case you missed it… It took me a total of 35 hits to take down just one of these guys! 35 hits! Why are you even trying to hit them? They’re barely touching you! All they do is stand there and act like they’re posing for GQ or something. Ok. Let’s try this again. Maybe there’s something I’m missing. I’ll be the girl this time… maybe she’s a little faster. Oh, wha-? She’s the exact same speed! In fact… I think she might even be a little slower! You bag of ass! Wait a minute. What’s that? It’s a baseball! Good God, there’s actually weapons in this game! Ok. So, pick up the baseball… Good… And… Throw it! And… Throw it! THROW IT, YOU BITCH! Oh my god!!! How do you throw this thing? It’s not A, B, X, Y… It’s not even L or R! Will Select work? No! So, what the fuck do I do? What, am I supposed to just look at it? JESUS CHRIST! SOMEBODY HELP ME OUT! Wha-? What was that? What was that?! How the fuck did I do that?! Wha- wha- wha-? Is it A and B? No! Is it X and Y? No! L and R? No! Oh, come on! There’s not that many button combinations left! Wait a minute. There it is. There it is! I got it! I finally got it! Ok. So, what’s the combo? L and Y? Are you shitting me? Who ever heard of a special move that was just L and Y? I mean, what’s the point? Why not just replace it with the kicking button? I mean, that’s totally useless! Well, fuck it. Let’s just see how much damage I can do with this thing. Oh, you got to be kidding me. 3 hits? I could have killed these guys the whole time with just 3 HITS!? This game is a bucket of balls! Now I know what you’re thinking. Couldn’t I technically have checked the instruction book for that? Well, I think they’re giving the people who bought this game a little too much credit. Like, that they can read! Alright. So, what’s the throwing combo? L and B. Well, B’s the jumping button. So, that’s already confusing. But, let’s see if I can knock them out faster. Come here you little fuck bunnies! Come here!! Finally… So how many hits does it take to kill them with a weapon? Three. The exact same amount if you just uppercut them. Well, then what the fuck’s the point of having a weapon then? I don’t know. Who gives a shit. Let’s just move on to the next level. “House of Glass”. Ok, so this should be at least a little bit of fun. Alright. So, there’s a baby dropping some glasses and a guy catching them at the bottom. Ok, well, good luck with that. I’m going to see where the real adventure is. I can’t leave the screen. Great. So, I guess this IS the adventure part. What a fucking load. Alright. So, do I catch these things too? No… They hurt you. So, you want to stay away from them. Do I stop this guy? Well, I can’t seem to. So, that’s not it. Do I stop the baby? Well, I can’t reach him or climb up the shelves. So what the fuck do I do? Oh… You break the glass? Well, how the fuck am I supposed to figure that out? Oh great. Now I’m out of time. I really hate that fucking timer. So, I guess I have to start over and break the glass again. Right? WHAT?! They start me all the way back to the beginning of the fucking game!!?? SON OF A BITCH!!! Ok. So, I got to go through all this shit again and make it to the glass shop. By the way, that’s just incredible music isn’t it? I mean, fuck the Mario games and Legend of Zelda for having actual themes and melodies. All you need is five notes repeated over, and over, and over. Fucking ingenious. Ok, here I am again. And in case you missed it, you have to somehow break the glass without actually touching it. This is sounding like a goddamn Zen riddle. I should also point out that you can only punch once while in the air. So, why is the baby dropping more than one glass at a time? It’s not like you can hit it. God, fuck it. Let’s just get this over with. Alright. So, I finally beat the glass level. What’s next? HOLY HELL!!! It’s the exact same level again!!?? NNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRDDD!!!! Ok. So, you go through all this bullshit again… Back off, you little dick cheese! and you get to the next level. Which is… a haunted house. FFFFFFFun… Here you have to battle mummies, damn annoying bats, and pictures that blow smoke rings at you. Why? I don’t know. I stopped bringing logic into this long ago. So, not only is this place filled with creepy ghouls and goblins… but it’s also a fucking maze! Oh, That’s just great. So, you have to go in and out of these doors in order to get your way out of the house. But this is damn near impossible seeing how every single room looks exactly the same! How am I supposed to remember which room I’ve been in? There’s one part where you’re pretty much trapped in this room and you have to find a way out. There’s this black thing here. I guess it’s supposed to be a mirror. Can I do something here? Didn’t seem to do anything… There’s this weird animated picture of what looks like Spiderman swinging by. Am I supposed to catch a ride with him? Please, Spiderman! Get me out of this hellhole! What am I supposed to do? The clock is ticking and I have no idea what to do! Do you want me to read a book? Will that make you happy you little- How the fuck am I supposed to fig- Never mind! Let’s just get the hell out of here! Well, wait a minute… How come sometimes when I go through a bookcase I end up in a different room than I did before? Well, apparently, going to the left side of the bookcase drops you off in one room… and going to the right side of the bookcase drops you off in another. THAT’S… JUST… IM- POSSIBLE!!! I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT!!! If a bookcase opens up, it spins around in a circle. So, that means that there can only be one room! Because if there’s a wall separating the two rooms, the bookcase wouldn’t open! So how can it lead to two separate rooms? It can’t, Bebe’s Kids! It just… CAN’T!!! Apparently, there’s this weird dildo thing at the top of the screen that slowly changes to red the closer you get to the exit. But so far it’s just been blue because I have no idea how to get out of this place. God, how am I supposed to get out of here? Every room looks exactly the same! *frustrated sigh* Uh… Still blue. Still blue… Wait a minute! It’s changing! It’s changing color! Alright! Let me try over here! Aw! Blue, damn it! And I can’t go back in this fucking door! Let me try it again! Blue… Blue…! *gasp* It’s changing! It’s changing!! There it goes! It’s getting darker! Oh my god! It’s almost red! I KNEW IT! I knew I could do it! I KNEW I COULD PULL IT O- THIS IS THE WORST GAME I HAVE EVERY PLAYED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! IT SUCKS ASS! IT SUCKS BALLS! IT JUST… SUCKS! Well… If you think this is going to get rid of me Angry Video Game Nerd, you are much mistaken. Sure, I will need years of psychological therapy to recover from this, but that doesn’t mean you’ve heard the last of me! All I can say, Angry Video Game nerd, is… Fuck this game! And fuck you for making me play it! -He’s the Angry Video Game… OH, SHUT UP! -Critic.

Comments (100)

  1. 7:39 – WHAT?! THEY START ME ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF THE FUCKING GAME?!?!?! SON OF A BITCH!!!!!! Best quote ever.

  2. Angry video game critic?!
    WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!!

  3. Nerddddddddddddddddddd

  4. You're a Poppy head!

  5. This is a good take on avgn's usual reviews, critic is pretty funny on this video

  6. Why is this on my suggested???

  7. bEVIS
    turned around is p$n!$

  8. The face at 11:15 fucking kills me every time!

  9. 11:30
    starts jumping on the game really fast

  10. who only came here to see ''i have a small penith"

  11. Lucky you! You stopped at the Haunted House. You missed the final boss and its EPIC THEME.

  12. It’s Animation, with an attitude.

  13. 0:28 Anyone know the game that was shown for a second with the bunny and the dog in a suit and hat?

  14. The rage quit is me when I play World Of Light!

  15. Son:Mom can we watch avgn
    Mom:We have avgn at home
    Avgn at home:

  16. come on rolling rock is good

  17. He’d rather have a crocodile, pin him down and suck on his cock. He’d rather eat some rotten dog shit, and drown it down with Rolling Rock.

  18. Eww.. this asshole is so generic its gross.

  19. 11:20 About to blow a gasket.

  20. you're a poopyhead!

  21. This was so cringeworthy

  22. I remember robin harris died right after house party

  23. What's with the controller

  24. Bevis and Buthead

  25. Wait a minute…. your not the Nerd!

  26. If they were smart enough, they should have made it go bevis then vibes cause the be of be-vis then bes at end of vi-bes could be seen as be'be's
    be-vis
    vi-bes
    "be-bes"

  27. Who the fuck is this pice shit… what the fuck…

  28. Imma knock da balock outta dis game

  29. Ah the memories of this video, I liked how the nostalgia critic raged over this

  30. AVGN!!

    is better

  31. I gotta say this is actually pretty up with AVGN standards except the out burst cursing.

  32. it says its animation with an attitude

  33. Even though this is part of the AVGN vs. NC war of 2008, its faithful to the AVGN in so many ways.

  34. Is this guy affiliated with AVGN?

  35. F*** you and stop ripping off the Angry Video Game Nerd!!!?

  36. I liked this movie!

  37. 9:40 Okay, you have to admit… that's pretty hilarious in hindsight. Spider-Man… in a game where you play as black people.

  38. What he played fortnite

  39. 0:42 You Sound More Like Douchey McNitpick Then You Do The Angry Video Game Nerd.?

  40. The Nostalgia Critic trying to be AVGN? Now that's more funnier.

  41. Who else likes the new song better?

  42. Critic for the love of Kirby stop loading and unloading the game pak/cartridge while the powers on!

  43. AVGN dislike botted this video.

  44. This film turned up on starz

  45. I remember this 🙂

  46. I never heard a white person ever speak on Robin Harris let alone bebe’s kids that alone is gold lmao

  47. Is this the only SNES game based on an actual Joke?

  48. ? there's a reason Doug reviews movies and James reviews games. To each their own..

  49. 6:19 'This game is a bucket of BALLS!!' XD

  50. 8:45 NNNNNNEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRDDD! XD

  51. Alt. Title: Bebe's Kids (SNES) – Boss Rush

  52. in the glass level, there's a box with the glass and a number 10 in it. How was that not seen?

  53. yeah that game does look bad, the movie was okay i don't remember much about it

  54. Bebe s kids it’s animation

  55. Not only does the trailer make the film not look good, but has anyone noticed the uncertainty in the announcer's voice when he says "animation"?

  56. Avgn spinoff. Love it

  57. Karen took the kids the game basically

  58. 4:25 11:16 ALL OF AVGC’S PAUSES

  59. Poor nostalgia critic. i'd love for him to review more games in the future tho (and yes I'm aware he did a simpsons game review after this).

  60. The Nerd went easy on him. Critic should come back for some real torture.

  61. 4:14 will never unhear

  62. 10:00 you could have the bookcase to where when you open it where its pointing diagonally to you it aligns up perfectly with the wall but the rooms would look way different

  63. this was 10 year old me's first exposure to true comedic game reviews (started on nostalgia critic first and found his avgn parody). miss them days

  64. Not to sound like an asshole but, most of you white dude always say that "Black films" like Friday, Boyz in da hood & Last Dragon are bad movies. But that's ok, most of you can't relate to them because you didn't grow up in a black urban community.

  65. I TOTALLY NEED A YTP PUT OF THIS! THIS SOURCE IS, PERFECT!

  66. Me: Alright, I need to pass this exam.
    My last brain cells: 0:42 to 0:50

  67. 6:19 This game is a bucket of BALLS!

  68. Doug Walker is copied AVGN

  69. Okay so I didn’t realize what I clicked because I was looking for an AVGN video and just clicked random but when he spit the beer, I felt it he tin my arm some how.

  70. 11:23
    My reaction to the disappointing Fate Of The Furious and Infinity War!!!!

  71. This was fucking stupid.

  72. the hip-hop beats through the SNES are kinda cool tho, gives it a really lo-fi sound.

  73. 11:25–11:35 Are people allowed to do that to game cartridges?

  74. 3:33 it took so long to beat that mascot up that the timer when back up.

  75. Am I the only one who wants Doug to do another one of these?

  76. 11:19 me when I’m playing Cuphead.

  77. When I first saw him I thought he was a rip-off of the Avgn.

  78. I laughed harder in this video than I have in a long time. You should do more bad games

  79. better than avgn))

  80. Ah yes.. before Nostalgia Critic became a steaming pile of shit

  81. 1:34 Paramount, not Universal

  82. 11:11 If you look closely, Doug edited the video to his last life, so he got a game over on purpose.

  83. 9:55 Sticker Star in a nutshell

  84. you're such a penis

  85. Would love Nostalgia Critic to review Left 4 dead 1 & 2 ?

  86. that critic freeze frame bit is just legendary man,and i dont even like this video

  87. Nice point break reference. 😀

  88. 11:23 When you lose the 8 ball in octo expansion

  89. Are you rasist ????????

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