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How to Be Happy Every Day: It Will Change the World | Jacqueline Way | TEDxStanleyPark

How to Be Happy Every Day: It Will Change the World | Jacqueline Way | TEDxStanleyPark


Translator: Queenie Lee
Reviewer: Peter van de Ven I have what some consider to be
one of the toughest jobs on the planet. I am a mom. (Cheers) (Applause) Yes! Yes! I am a parent to three
very busy little boys who magically think I’m a doctor, a baker, a coach, a chef, a therapist and have the patience of a saint 24/7. I truly do my best and some days are definitely
better than others, especially the part
about having the patience of a saint. I want what most parents want for my kids. I want them to have a happy childhood. I want them to be free to play, build friendships, grow to be kind,
compassionate, happy adults. But there seems
to be one small challenge. The World Happiness Report states at any one time over 220 million children and 1 billion adults suffer from anxiety, depression,
and conduct disorders. Not exactly a pretty picture
of happy people on a happy planet. Unfortunately, as adults,
whether you’re a parent or not, this is what our children
are learning from us. You see how busy we are every day. They feel our stress, and they watch us struggle
to find our own happiness. How do we go from anxiety
and depression to happy? Some good news. The World Happiness Report also states the best predictor of whether a child
becomes a satisfied adult is through their emotional
health in childhood. So if I have this right,
it should be easy. Happy children,
happy adults, happy planet; yes. (Laughter) This is the exact lesson
I learned from my dad. When I was a little girl, growing up in the big city
of London, Ontario, every Christmas morning my dad would take my three sisters
and I to his office. You see my dad was a doctor
and his office, a hospital. It was our job to stand
around the beds of his patients and sing Christmas carols. We started with the same song every time, and my dad, he’d lead the singing. Now, this is probably a TEDx first,
so join me if you know it. (Singing) We wish you a Merry Christmas;
we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year. (Stops singing) (Cheers) (Applause) You guys are amazing, I am signing you all up for this year. (Laughter) And look at your smiles. We did this every Christmas
morning for years. Those patients, they sing along with us, just like you did. And their smiles, their smiles
would light up their hospital rooms. This is what I learned from our singing. Giving back to those patients, it made them happy, and it made me happy. And we’ve all heard that giving makes you happy
and it’s better to give than receive. But have you actually thought of why? Well, researchers from all over the world have been studying the science
and psychology of giving. They’ve discovered that our brains and our bodies
are actually hardwired for giving. When we give, our endorphins kick in, giving us this natural high feeling. They’ve actually called it
the “helper’s high.” Our oxygen levels rise,
this would be our love hormone. And for those of you that have been looking
for the Fountain of Youth, it’s our body’s natural anti-aging remedy. And that feeling I got
when I volunteer with my dad, that’s serotonin,
our body’s happy transmitter. But here’s the icing on the cake. Our cortisol levels drop. This is our stress hormone. Giving reduces anxiety and stress
and it makes us happy. Now what if I told you, you could be happy every day,
and it’s simple. In fact, it’s so simple
a three-year-old can do it. Well, on my first son
Nick’s third birthday, I decided I was going to teach him
how he could be happy every day. I was going to teach Nick to give. I introduced the idea
over a birthday cake and ice cream: “Nick, we are going to start
this super-fun family project together. We are going to give back
to the world every day for one year.” Now I waited to see
the excitement on his face – that excitement that I was feeling – and instead, he says,
“Mommy, how many days are in a year?” (Laughter) Oh yeah, not exactly
the response I was looking for, but Nick was just three. I had to approach this daily giving idea
a little differently. Still, I got out some craft paper
and a big box of crayons, and I started again: “Nick, we’re going to do one thing
to be kind, helpful, giving to a person, an animal, or the planet every day for 365 days.” Now, when I shared this idea
with friends and the family, they thought I was being,
shall we say, a little ambitious. I was going to give back to the world
every day for 365 days with a three-year-old. I agreed, it seemed like a lot, but not when you start small,
just one give, one day at a time. Nick and I started a list,
just to get us going, had to be easy and close to home. Donate towels and blankets
for a local animal shelter, pick up garbage, recycle, give clothes to a favorite charity;
and our list went on. Well, Nick quickly caught on, and now he was excited. He was actually so excited he wanted to start
that day, on his birthday. So, first stop, down at the local animal shelter
to donate towels and blankets. When we walked into that shelter you instantly got hit by this smell of somewhere
between wet dog and disinfectant. We could hear dogs barking. I knew they were locked in cages;
they were behind a closed door. Nick handed our towels and blankets
over to the nice lady behind the desk. She gave us a big smile
and she thanked us for our donation. Well, as we turned to leave, Nick noticed two big glass doors
that led into a room filled with cats. He went up to that glass and he peered in, and then he turned to me and said, “Mommy, can you see those cats
sleeping on that red blanket back there. Will our blankets be for those cats?” He turned to the nice lady behind the desk
and she said, “You bet.” You’d just see Nick’s little brain going. He was making the connection that his daily give
was going to help those cats. Nick learned that very first day, as he turned to me
and he smiled and he said, “Awesome, Mom,” that giving made him happy. Day two, down at the beach
for a little fun in the sun and a game: how much garbage could we
pick up in three minutes or less because that was the attention span
of my three-year-old. (Laughter) Day three, we took that garbage
and we sorted it. At the ripe old age of three,
Nick learned to recycle. Well, daily giving quickly
became a routine for Nick, just like kind of brushing his teeth. Well, actually come to think of it, it would be easier to teach
a three-year-old to give every day than it is to brush
their teeth every day, for sure. Nick asked if we could share
our daily giving adventures with our friends and family, so they could follow along. So that very first day I started a blog and I called it 365give. Now, just so you know, I am not a writer
or some social media guru, so you can imagine how surprised I was when people started reading the blog
other than my friends and family. They started reading and engaging
from all over the world. They send me emails and leave comments
with their daily giving stories because they were inspired by Nick. Actually, I was so excited I’m going
to share just a few with you today. So, Henry from London, England, wrote: “I walk past the same homeless man
every day on my way to work. Today I brought him breakfast, he was so grateful I stopped, it’s going to be my daily give
every day from now on.” Arwoney from Lira, Uganda: “I took four children that live
on a street near my home to lunch today. The children were so happy to have a meal, and for the first time in a long time
they felt like somebody cared.” Amy from Australia: “I’m a grade four teacher, and I started 365give, a daily
giving practice, in my classroom.” Well, this one – this one
took me by surprise. Could you really teach
365give in a classroom? I didn’t know, I was just a mom. But as fate has it, I get a call from my good friend Sarah. She’s a local elementary school teacher and she says, “Jacqueline, I want to take the 365give concept
into my classroom. Actually, my entire school.” Well, we were both so excited,
we went to work. We created an educational program, a tool for teachers that integrates
a simple daily giving practice with their curriculum, we called it the 365give challenge. It’s unique because it’s powered by the kids. They choose how they’re going to give, support causes and impact the world
in ways that they choose. We started in Sarah’s school, and I actually couldn’t wait to hear
how the kids were going to give. A few weeks into the challenge, I went down and I met with a grade two class,
seven-year-old kids. When I walked into that classroom, I’m not sure who was more excited, me or the kids. First up was Arman, he waved his hand frantically, he just couldn’t wait to tell me all about the fresh-baked cookies
they had made and delivered to their local firehouse. They want to thank the firefighters
for all they did in their community. Arman was just beaming with pride. Next up was Mia. Well, Mia’s little cousin
had suffered from cancer that year, and the kids, the entire class, they decided they were going
to do a popcorn sale, right at school. They raised 252 dollars, over recess, and they donated it to a charity
that supports kids with cancer. But this is the part
that just about had me in tears because I could never have dreamed that my super fun
family project with my son could cause a ripple to so many. And it’s what their teacher,
Mrs.Story, said to me, “Jacqueline, my kids are understanding how their actions
can make a better world. It’s connected them to each other
and their community, and most importantly,
it’s making my classroom happy.” The 365give challenge has now touched
over 5,000 children in 25 schools, and we have only just begun. (Cheers) (Applause) Thank you. (Cheers) (Applause) The kids are sharing their daily
giving stories with other kids, and it’s creating a ripple into their families, their communities,
and around the world. The challenge was created for kids,
but it’s actually for all of us, doesn’t matter where you live,
what you do or how old you are. Just imagine if we all did it. It started with just one child
giving every day, that’s 365 daily gives. We shared, and it’s rippled to right here, with all of you. Now, let’s take everybody in this room, over 2,000 people, times 365 daily gives, that is over 700,000 daily gives. It’s no longer just one child
giving every day, but each and every one of us creating a better world, a happier world, and it’s so simple
a three-year-old can do it. It’s a daily habit,
just like brushing your teeth. Start your list today, take a look at your life, your world,
your family, your day, do what works for you. Donate, volunteer, help a neighbor,
be kind to a stranger. This is how we’re going to go
from anxiety and depression to happy. Together, we can all start small, and we can make the world
a better world, a happier world, one give, one day at a time. (Applause) (Cheers) Yes! Yes!

Comments (100)

  1. listening to this made me want to cry of happiness, what a cool thing to do!

  2. The cats and red blanket thing actually made me cry ….. I’m touched

  3. We can all make an impact indeed. A happy world! Yes we can

  4. How would you prevent yourself from expecting back in return of what you have been giving?

  5. You also have to look after yourself also give 365 gift to yourself so you can take care others and giving gift to others …you happy make others happy now.

  6. Terrific, very nice idea to make a better world for every one and create and spread real happiness in our communities as a human being.
    Best luck!

  7. Such a helpful video. I love how it makes one realize how simple happiness can be.

    Anyway, we also uploaded a video in line with the same topic. Check it out! 🙂

  8. Amazing mom, role model, I hope every mom just like you. World would be amazing place to live in.

  9. Not just help others is giving, yourself also need "giving" from others, especially the giving from yourself. When you feel the urge to do something, to accomplish something, to achieve something. Push that willing to action so you will be happier about yourself.

  10. Have faith in Jesus Christ, by asking Him to be Lord and Savior. Believe that simple prayer. Read the Bible always.. After that experience to grateful and help others by giving and sharing your experience, you will be happy / The Best Way to be HAPPY — PEACE AND HAPPINESS TO EVERYONE OF YOU//// IG: KIMOAD3

  11. Happiness is not stable in everyone's mind .Making someone smile is easy yet, making someone happy is not as easy as we think . My definition of happiness is to make people smile which makes me happy .Yes sometime you 'veof course gotta be a bit selfish .

  12. Can you add speaker mail id

  13. It's an awesome presentation. You must watch it full. But in case you are short of time, The key takeaway message is, "Give gift to people you come across everyday either a material, emotional gift or just by your action of help"
    Start it today not tomorrow!

  14. I was wanting a better life for my son and wife so I joined the military to give them that life and so they dont have to go without. Boy has it been hard on me though so hard being away from my little boy. I'm getting through it. Everyone value the time you have with your family. I took my time for granted. I will be home soon but first I have to get through these orders

  15. I love the helpers high⚡
    1 gift, one time a day?

  16. Its difficult to be happy when suffering from chronic illness and no money for treatment

  17. One act of kindness will create a ripple effect..and that's exactly what her and her son have done! Beautiful talk!!

  18. Why I think you don't need to act like you are not stressed on the stage when you are not stressed… I think people who aren't stressed at all they don't need to act (shout or move a lot) to hide their stress or even to impress people… because if your words aren't enough then people will listen to you and after a while they notice that your words only last for a while.

  19. I wish this video was dubbed to Russian

  20. ? being a mom is the greatest and most underestimated jobs. That’s why it’s so important to give yourself grace

  21. Incredibly helpful as I want to become a teacher <3

  22. Hello wonderful job I’m a new family member. Great channel?

  23. Really awesome !!! I'm amedical student , when I become a dr sure I will apply this idea in my hospital , thank you .❤

  24. My parents were not happy and I did not have a happy childhood but I have also found the joy of helping animals and helping children get over their anxieties in my job to be very fulfilling.

  25. Respect for you ma'am❤

  26. I do not know how having childrens can advance human race on already overpopulated planet.civilized countries strongly disagree with your unscientific assessment.

  27. She sounds like the woat mom

  28. I've lost more than I have space to type. I'm alone, tired and can't seem to find light anymore. Watching this happy successful person, on a stage in front of thousands, preaching about how easy it is to be happy feels like an insult. Like standing on dry land and watching someone drown while yelling "its so easy, just swim!"

  29. Salute from Dhaka, Bangladesh…..if this theory comes to action there will be no kid starving in the 3rd world

  30. Jesus Christ this makes me cringe

  31. You're right. Being selfless, caring, and helping the world around us is what will make our lives and the planet much better

  32. Really lovable ❤️

  33. Yess I love thiss. I will definitely do thiss weekly as per day will be tiresome for me. I am happy I do this

  34. I wish I can be happy

  35. This is amazing ❤️thanks

  36. This is one of Islamic concepts we have in our religion
    Thank you . If you read about Islam you will find more ❤️
    To give your family.,every little kids. Every elder one.your neighbor regardless their religion just because they are your neighbor you have to gave ;any poor person ;to help a person for some thing is better than you stay at mosque a month praying. And to gave even apiece of a date if you don't have enough and in our religion you have to smile it is considered one of gaving to any one you meet

  37. Giving to be happy… excellent theme. “I want you to be happy … to laugh, smile and rejoice in order that others may be made happy by you.” – ‘Abdu’l-Baha, , Baha'i Faith

  38. I feel like I am controlled too much and no one believes in me. I don't really know what I want to do in life but giving makes me happy to see other people smile. I want to go into the Marines and to show people I am capable of doing things that would never have imagined, I want to make a difference .

  39. The first and most important role models are —– MOM, and DAD—– not anyone else.

  40. Happiness is NOT breeding moron.

  41. I have nothing to give. Im useless

  42. I know one thing that I could do now and that is give kindness to those in need, those who are in need of support.

  43. Great!! I love this! I have actually started before watching this video to try and make a good deed everyday, but im a constant traveller and its kind of hard to commit with a comunity, ideas of good deeds? Get me inspired pls!

  44. It is really amazing video.Thanks ms for this kind of incredible ideas.I will surely start helping this world

  45. Her expressions and way of talking mind blowing…. She is a superb and amazing person I ever see in Ted talk…

  46. Yo this girl is fake ??

  47. "I have the toughest job in the world… "

    Bill Burr enters chat…

  48. I don’t have a Happy life at all…but every day I tried to stay posoitive I couldn’t hold my tears back from crying in my school…it was very depressing..I happy back then but when I started 8grade All my friends changed…they all had expensive phones and stuff…and Bulling started and nobody cared about me, I wished I could be in university so I could go to another country and make new friends and forget what happened in years 8 9 10 11 and 12 and be happy like beafore..?

  49. the secret formula is crime

  50. I teared up, this is so cute and happy.

  51. I'm a babysitter,it's been 10 years since i worked,
    that the time i spend with
    our kids, babies jas come to a Buddist realization of my mind, and I'm as clean as a clear sky. ♡♡♡

  52. This is so true and inspiring 🙂 thank you

  53. Do something for someone else who may need it most…I love this!

  54. Are you happy guys ?

  55. Yeah! Depression, anxiety, don't like to talk to anyone, just want to be alone all the time, feeling so depressed some times that my heart aches literally and it is so bad that I can't talk at that time… But I don't actually understand why exactly am I unhappy….
    I have been unhappy from so many days that I actually don't know what does it mean to be happy…. What the heck is going on? Can anyone help??

  56. Dear Jacqueline, Your talk here was one of the most inspirational I've yet to have the honor and pleasure of hearing. I had searched "accepting happiness" which says it all, doesn't it? I have everything wonderful going on in my life, and have felt shameful that I'm fearful of being happy. I fully understand that this comes from my early childhood, and the erroneous messages I received. Your heartfelt message today has changed my narrative. Giving to others…being of service in all ways, grand or the smallest of gestures, is the way out of our struggle. I send you my heartfelt message of love and gratitude. xo

  57. I feel like People can see my happy Bc i always have a smile but on the inside I feel broken

  58. Thank you Jacqueline Way for this inspirational video. I’m ? percent agree with you. Sometimes, the easiest way to be happy is to be a better person with people and with the world. And just give, and pay more attention about our world, our planet, every day, be kinder with people… can make us happier. Because if everybody can give each days, the world can be better. A better future for our kids and for the planet :-). So let’s smile ? and give.

  59. So inspired by this video and decide to do 365 project from today. Thanks Jacqueline for sharing how to be happy!

  60. I wanna do this 365 give ???
    So touching & it speaks for his mom as well

  61. I became a blood and organ donor. My existence somehow matters

  62. Three sons in a patriarchy. That's called blessed my dear!

  63. I love to give out or something away. I write my gratitude every day and night. Some day I am happy, some day I am despress. I Thanks God that I am here

  64. my favorite quote is, "A life lived for others is a life well lived" – Albert Einstein…basically be selfless and you will live a happy life…i try to be as selfless as possible but im actually quite lonely

  65. even though this is a good thing I feel like this is just an ambitious mother. So your advice is? helping others ok I get it, too simple. how do I help myself? mAyBE I have stuff to do I can't just go to animal shelters and spend my day there. Now that you're done showing off what an amazing eco friendly mother you are and how other eco friendly upper classes mothers found this inspiring, you can go back to writing on your blog full of positivity flowers and perfection. screw yyyyyyou

  66. I become happy by making others happy, except I struggle doing that. So I created a YouTube channel to make others happy, which is making my life worse

  67. Well I’m here alone ….I suffer from depression…I’ve been trying to find hope but I can’t smile or laugh and no one gets it…no one gets what’s wrong and I always seem rude….I feel so alone and I haven’t told anyone ….I’m so alone and sad I have no one to go to so yeah I looked up the last thing I could think of

    I’ve been crying and it doesn’t help so someone please help me …please

  68. This video is great- I hope you have mindningful life

  69. When i see this kind of people i start to believe in humanity Respect from Armenia

  70. Sadaqa is an Arabic word that means conttibute. This is part of Islam Religion 1441 years ago. Thank you for the positive speech.

  71. Hi Jacqueline, I’m putting together a fundraiser here in Australia. It’s got an organisation called Beyond Blue. It’s a non for profit organisation that helps people with anxiety and depression. I was wondering if I could have your permission to show this video on the night? And talk about your idea 🙂

  72. So great to hear this

  73. Eating donuts ?… makes me happy ?

  74. Wonderful lady with warmed heart ❤❤❤❤

  75. My grandfather died today……

  76. Gratefulness is the secret to happiness. Once we all realize how incredibly lucky we are to even be alive on this planet and stop comparing ourselves to others, true happiness will find us

  77. Trust me i will do my best
    Thank you very much for what you did
    It is my pleasure hear you
    Abdo from egypt??

  78. I think the trick is to not give to the same person more than once? I help my neighbours heaps and now they just expect it.

  79. this crowd is so dry :/

  80. i like it thank you that's uniqe show

  81. one give per day times 7.7 billion people

  82. she looks almost identical to nick cave

  83. one way to be happy every day is not to be. Nobody's always happy. They just don't show when they're sad

  84. It breaks my heart that almost everyone who watched this video needed to search up how to be happy. ??

  85. I will never be happy. Wanna die

  86. I don't care about helping others that doesn't make me happy.

  87. This was truly amazing! Love this speech!

  88. This woman looks annoying. She is like an actor who is always overplaying

  89. It has been great listening to you and the idea of 365 giving…it's really great of you being a mom, inculcating such values to the future generation….however, practising the same in some countries, one has to be extremely causious…..For example, it's become increasingly difficult in India to practise what you said. People are so much after money and material things that 99 percent of time, people will take advantage of your kindness….You may even get robbed or killed when you open your door for others, as it is being widely reported in many parts of India….Hence, we cannot ignore local realities in India and we have to limit ourselves so that we are not harmed….Yes, 365 days giving is still possible, but in situations of very limited choices in India, where we live, such as cooking food and and giving (serving yourself) in a local orphanage or a poor 'old age home' ; spending some time and giving occasional small gifts (show them that you remember them and care) to elderly people in a local old age home; simply going back to your village and sponsor the study expenses of a good student in a village school, who cannot afford to meet the expenses ; Meet the farming expenses of a poor raithu (farmer) in your village, who cannot meet the expenses for farming in his own land, etc.

  90. If the whole universe lived by this magically,thank you??

  91. This things just work for simple dudes :/

  92. Thanks for your great sharing

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